Just the Tips

5 Ways to Put a Twist on an Old Kink

Shibari Rope Bondage

If you’ve been around the kink block more than a few times, like myself, then you know what you like. And what we like is what we go back to, time and time again.

It’s often the first out-there sex kink that caught our attention or that we tried early on in our sexual lives that stands the test of time. If you’re kinky, you are usually open to experimentation, other lovers’ fetishes and fantasies, but you still have your favorite BDSM activities.

There’s nothing wrong with staying with the tried and true, but you probably find that at times that what once gave you the ultimate thrill is lacking something—something you can’t always put your finger on.

I love spanking, always have, but recently I find myself thinking about tomorrow’s grocery list while lying over a man’s knee and being smacked on the butt. And this gave me inspiration to write this post.

How to Put a Twist on Your Old (but Favorite) Kinks

1. Leave It Alone

Absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder, and the dick harder. Put whatever fetish or fantasy turns your crank the most away in your subconscious kink closet. It won’t go anywhere, but maybe it just needs a rest. See how long you can go without indulging your special kink—the anticipation that builds for your reunion may surprise you!

2. Expand on Your Kink

If bondage is your thing, maybe you want to take a Shibari rope bondage course. Maybe you enjoy claustrophilia, enclosed spaces, but you’ve never been in a body bag with only your dick exposed.

If you like role playing, add an extra element like costumes and rehearsed dialogue, or go out in public to act your part. There’s always more you can explore with every individual kink.

Read: How to Expand Your Sexual Repertoire

3. Flip the Switch

So much of BDSM involves domination and submission and most of us lean one way or the other. Whichever you are, think about enjoying your kink from the other side. If you’re always tying lovers up, let them take the reins. If you love being behind a woman for anal sex, it’s time to let her strap one on and give it back.

This trick may not work for some power dynamics, for example, humiliation play, as something like this is often a hard limit for the naturally dominant. But you can always ask, and learn a lot from switching.

Read: Switching Roles: The Night I Found My Inner Domme

4. Mix It Up with New Lovers

This could spell trouble if you’re in a committed monogamous relationship, but if you’re a free-wheeling single or polyamorous person, play show and tell with new partners. The kink may be the same, but how it’s interpreted or enjoyed will be new.

Read: How to Find BDSM Hookups Online

Think about how exciting fresh sex is in a new relationship—this applies to how kinks are perceived by others as well. If you’re a guy into CBT, a new lover is not going to cup and squeeze your balls the same as your last girlfriend did. She won’t strip for you or play naughty nurse the same either.

5. Indulge Your Kink with New Gear

BDSM can be enjoyed with very few frills, and some of us have to go that route because we’re on a budget. But if you do have a few extra bucks, why not treat yourself to something that will enhance your usual kink or fetish. It might be a bigger dildo to fit your strap-on harness. Or maybe a studded leather ball-gag would be better than the handkerchief you currently use to keep your lover quiet.

Still not feeling it? Read: Bored with Kink: How to Cope

What’s your go-to kink, and how do you keep it fresh? Please share!

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