BDSM Dating

How to Find BDSM Hookups Online: BDSM Dating Sites

Sexy Blonde with Whip

Looking for BDSM partners online, but don’t know where to start? Try these top BDSM dating sites to find real kinky hookups.

When looking for new playmates into BDSM, it can be difficult to determine who might share your kink or be open to trying. Revealing your kinky side to new prospects can also be challenging, with unpredictable results. What’s a BDSM lover to do?

BDSM dating sites make it easier than ever to connect with like-minded people, without worrying about getting matched up with someone too vanilla. Head to where the kinksters are! Join the sites below and you’ll discover a whole new world of local women and men eager to experiment and bring fantasies to life. I’ll also outline some tips for getting the most out of your membership for BDSM dating success.

Disclosure: I’ve been a member at the following sites and can confirm they’re the real thing. I’m still a full member at BDSMdate. When I’m comfortable recommending a site to our readers, I sometimes use links that earn a small commission if someone decides to upgrade. It costs nothing extra, just helps this little blog keep going.

The Best BDSM Dating Sites to Meet Local BDSM Play Partners

1. BDSMdate.com

This is my favorite site for meeting people into BDSM, and I’ve been a long-time member. BDSM Date is the largest kinky dating site out there, and caters to BDSM lovers as well as anyone into fetish, role-play, and other kinky fun. They are on the same network as Alt.com, which you may already know about. This means you’ll find a massive  amount of members, so finding someone local is no problem.

BDSMdate.com is also the most full-featured with video introductions, live member video streaming, member-created groups, chat, and blogs. There’s definitely enough to keep you occupied between dates. And you can search through profiles by interest whether it’s bondage, S&M, foot play, spankings… and on and on and on! Connecting with others who share your specific kink and want to play is what this site is all about.

Find BDSM Hookups Now at BDSMdate.com

2. BDSMSingles.com

BDSM Singles is another site that has been around a long time. While I consider BDSMSingles.com a distant second choice, it’s worth checking out to see who’s there and actively looking, especially in larger cities. They are not as big or feature-rich as BDSM Date, but the community is very BDSM-centric with lots of Doms and subs eager to play in person.

3. BDSM Niche Options

Since BDSM can encompass a wide variety of inclinations, I’m going to suggest a couple options for anyone who’d like to try an even more niche site to suit their particular kink or fetish. Just remember that the more laser-targeted a site gets, the fewer members you’ll find. But they will share your kink, which is the important thing.

StraponDating.com is just what the name suggests. This site has been very popular with readers here at Kink Lovers, and it’s a great choice for anyone looking to be dominated by a woman wielding a strapon. It turns out pegging is a lot more popular than you might think!

FindSpankingPartners.com is specifically for those who enjoy giving and receiving spankings. Like Strapon Dating and even BDSM Singles above, it isn’t so much about the features as the connection of people who share a specific fetish or interest.

3 Tips for Getting Results on BDSM Dating Sites

  1. Invest some time in crafting your BDSM profile.
    You’ll get a lot more mileage out of your membership if you create a killer profile. All this means is filling out the fields completely, being specific and playful about your interests, and adding photos from the very beginning. Want to stay private? BDSM Date allows members to keep some photos in a secret album to share only as you see fit.
  2. Put your kinks right up front.
    This is especially important if there is something very unique about what you seek or the type of people you desire. Make it easier for potential hookups to find you by putting your penchant for pegging, your love of feet, or your cuckold status right in your profile title.
  3. Make use of everything the site has to offer.
    Want to attract more views of your profile, and more messages to your inbox? Don’t sit back and wait for something to happen – make use of advanced features that can bring a lot of attention your way. Create your own member blog if you enjoy writing, try out chat rooms, or join a niche group. Don’t see a group that fits your kink? Create your own!

How I Choose the Best Sites for BDSM Dating

When recommending BDSM dating sites or any type of community to our readers, I insist on the following criteria:

  • The site must be accepting of all genders, orientations, and states of dress.
    None do this better than BDSMdate.com which not only accepts men, women, and couples, but also welcomes transgender kinksters. This makes for a more open and inclusive community. Also, I like when nudity is not only accepted but encouraged. 😉
  • All sites must be free of spam messaging, bots, and fake profiles.
    While I understand that it can be hard for large sites to combat this, it’s important that the dating site takes this type of fraudulent behavior seriously. They must remove inactive and fake profiles as soon as possible, and protect their members from scammers who may use the site for nefarious purposes.
  • Fair pricing is important.
    I’m not crazy about sites that primarily use credits. I think it limits communication when there is a payment required for every action. I prefer monthly paid memberships so that people can take advantage of all opportunities without hesitation.
    If you’re disappointed that there are no decent free options, consider that monthly membership is generally less than the cost of just one night out seeking BDSM partners. And the best sites are jam-packed with additional entertainment such as forums, groups, and even access to local events in some cases.

Why are there are no BDSM Apps on the list?

I wish I could suggest some good BDSM apps to our readers as well, but they just haven’t made it to the level where I’d consider any of them a viable dating site for BDSM enthusiasts. It’s probably going to take some more time for the kinky apps out there to catch up to the size and member activity of the web-based apps. If you’ve found one you’re happy with let us know in the comments, (but you probably aren’t reading this post if that’s the case).

If you’re wondering why BDSMdate.com doesn’t have an app, you’ll discover the answer as soon as you log in to your account. BDSM Date is just too damn naughty. Anything goes there and you’ll encounter a lot of nudity, which is exactly why they don’t have an app. Nudity is not welcome at the App Store. So for now, enjoy them on both your phone or laptop, (and note the lap/desktop version currently has more features), and enjoy the added discretion of not having to download anything to your device.

Good luck and enjoy! xo Lola

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