How to Find a BDSM Partner

Looking for BDSM partners online, but don’t know where to start?

When looking for new play partners into BDSM, it can be difficult to determine who might share your kink or be open to trying. Revealing your kinky side to new prospects can also be challenging, with unpredictable results.

What’s a BDSM lover to do?

BDSM dating sites make it easier than ever to connect with a like-minded BDSM partner, without worrying about getting matched up with someone too vanilla. So head to where the kinksters are!

Find Local BDSM Partners Online

Try the sites below and you’ll discover a whole new world of local women and men eager to experiment and bring fantasies to life.

I’ll also outline some tips below for getting the most out of your membership for BDSM dating success.

Disclosure: I’ve been a member at the following sites and can confirm they’re the real thing. I’m still a full member at BDSMdate. When I’m comfortable recommending a site to our readers, I may use links that earn a small commission if someone decides to upgrade. It costs nothing extra, just helps this kinky blog keep going.

1. BDSMdate.com

This is my favorite site for meeting BDSM partners, and I’ve been a long-time member.

BDSM Date is the largest kinky dating site out there, and caters to BDSM lovers as well as anyone into fetish, role-play, and other kinky fun. They are on the same network as Alt.com, which you may already know about. This means you’ll find a massive  amount of people into BDSM, so finding someone local is no problem.

BDSMdate.com is also the most full-featured with video introductions, live member video streaming, member-created groups, chat, and blogs.

There’s definitely enough to keep you occupied between dates. And you can search through profiles by interest whether it’s bondage, S&M, foot play, spankings… and on and on and on! Connecting with BDSM partners who share your specific kink and want to play is what this site is all about.

Join BDSM Date

BDSM partners
Find a BDSM partner who shares your kinks.

2. BDSMSingles.com

BDSM Singles is another site that has been around a long time. While I consider BDSMSingles.com a distant second choice, it’s worth checking out to see who’s there and actively looking, especially in larger cities.

They are not as big or feature-rich as BDSM Date, but the community is very BDSM-centric with lots of Doms and subs eager to play in person. Perhaps because they don’t have video, there is more focus on meeting up in person.

Join BDSM Singles

3. Options for Niche BDSM Partners

Since BDSM play can encompass a wide variety of inclinations, I’m going to suggest a couple options for anyone who’d like to try an even more niche site to suit their particular kink or fetish.

Just remember that the more laser-targeted a BDSM dating site gets, the fewer members you’ll find. But they will share your kink, which is the important thing.

Find Pegging Partners

StraponSexDating.com is just what the name suggests. This site has been very popular with readers here at Kink Lovers, and it’s a great choice for anyone looking to be dominated by a woman wielding a strapon. It turns out pegging is a lot more popular than you might think!

Find Cuckold Partners

CouplesDating.com is my choice for those into cuckolding or the hotwife lifestyle. Couples Dating isn’t specifically for kinky people, but it’s a very large, sex-positive hookup site that welcomes all genders and orientations. Because they accept couples profiles it’s a great option for finding threesomes, meeting cuckold partners, or any other type of group fun.

3 Tips for Attracting BDSM Partners

  1. Invest some time in crafting your profile.
    You’ll get a lot more mileage out of your membership if you create a killer BDSM profile. All this means is filling out the fields completely, being specific and playful about your interests, and adding photos from the very beginning. Want to stay private? BDSM Date allows members to keep some photos in a secret album to share only as you see fit.
  2. Put your kinks right up front.
    This is especially important if there is something very unique about what you seek or the type of BDSM partner you desire. Make it easier for potential BDSM lovers to find you by putting your penchant for pegging, your love of feet, or your cuckold status right in your profile title.
  3. Make use of everything the site has to offer.
    Want to attract more views of your profile, and more messages to your inbox? Don’t sit back and wait for something to happen – make use of advanced features that can bring a lot of attention your way. Create your own member blog if you enjoy writing, try out chat rooms, or join a niche group. Don’t see a group that fits your kink? Create your own!

Prefer to meet BDSM partners offline? For more tips and ideas on finding compatible BDSM partners, read Jamie’s article:

How to Meet Kinky People

Good luck and enjoy. xo Lola

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