Trust is a crucial part of any relationship, even more so in the land of kink. Engaging with your partner in any kind of kinky activity requires consent and a great deal of comfort. You both have to know without a shadow of a doubt that things will never go father than desired, and this can only be attained through trusting one another—a lot. But how can you build trust in a new relationship, or restore it in one where the trust has been broken? Here are a few suggestions.
Be Consistent
The only way to build trust in the long run is to do what you say you’re going to do consistently and over time. There are no short cuts. Your partner needs to see that you’re committed to proving  your trustworthiness and that you understand how important that is. Consistency can apply to areas inside or outside the bedroom, and it’s an ongoing process. If you’re in the position of having to rebuild what was lost, it might take even longer for your partner to reach that desired comfort zone. Patience is a must if you want to achieve your goal.
Listen and Speak Openly
Part of trusting someone is knowing that they’re open to hearing what you have to say and that they’ll always (to the best of their ability) speak their truth. You want to create an atmosphere of transparency in your relationship. Keeping secrets or holding back your true feelings will only confuse things and ultimately lead to inconsistencies, which blocks the path to trust. Sometimes it’s hard to be completely open and honest about every little thing. It’s important to try, though, as the effort shows that you’re taking things seriously.
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Take on New Challenges as a Couple
Try something new like rock climbing or a panic room. Being thrown together into a new and challenging situation can really strengthen the trust you’ve already developed in your relationship, especially if your attempt at overcoming the challenge is successful. This technique can be risky, though,  as there’s a chance that failed attempts could reinforce old resentments, or otherwise compromise the trust you’ve already developed. Try it if you think the timing is right for the two of you and enjoy the benefits of working together as a team.
Don’t Rush It
It might be obvious based on everything you’ve read here, but building trust takes plenty of time. Don’t try to hurry the process along or you might find yourself in a kind of superficially close relationship that doesn’t lead to real comfort and the ability to open up in bed. The timeline is different for everyone and it’s a good idea to let your partner decide when she’s achieved a feeling of trust. Don’t pester her about it or make her feel that she owes you based on the amount of effort you’ve put in. Stuff like that will only push your both backwards on the path to trust.
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