Are you a secret voyeur? Do you enjoy catching a glimpse of your next door neighbour as she undresses?
You are not alone. Both women and men enjoy voyeurism. The catch is – how to enjoy this kink without getting yourself into trouble. That’s where consensual voyeurism comes in.
What is Voyeurism?
Voyeurism is the sexual interest in or practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or other actions usually considered to be of a private nature.
The term comes from the French word voyeur which means “one who looks”.
Voyeurism ranges from harmless to harmful (illegal activities involving peepholes, spy cameras, etc.). Without the consent of the person being watched, voyeurism is considered a criminal offence.
The thing is that spying on people, while it is totally hot, is also often illegal and sketchy. This is what makes it thrilling. Everyone who has half an imagination, though, has peeped through a window when they shouldn’t, put a cup up to the wall to hear the neighbors fucking, or checked out some bulges in somebody else’s clothing. This curiosity is part of human nature.
But what if I told you that lots of people are really into watching other people have sex and that they have nothing to be ashamed of because there are ways of doing it that are consensual?
Consensual Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
What often makes voyeurism enjoyable is watching someone without them knowing they are being watched. Most voyeurs don’t actually want what they are looking at, they simply get off on the fact that they feel hidden, that the subject of their view doesn’t know they are watching them.
But sometimes the subject does know they are being watched, and there is a silent understanding between the voyeur and the exhibitionist and both are equally turned on by their game.
Read: Tips for Practicing Consensual Exhibitionism
This type of play opens the door to ethical voyeurism, where someone can enjoy their voyeur fetish while still gaining consent and avoiding a run-in with the law.
Ideas for Voyeurism with Consent
There’s no need to hide it any longer! There are many ways to enjoy voyeurism without crossing any lines. Just be sure to practice your voyeurism in a consensual manner.
1. Go to the Sex Club
Sex clubs are great places to explore your voyeuristic curiosity. They are very open and nonjudgmental, often filled with exhibitionists who want nothing more than to perform for you. Just be sure to seek out the right fit.
You don’t want to crash someone’s private fun by mistake, or be witness to something you wish you could unsee. Talk to a veteran patron or two first, or do some research of your own before jumping in.
Read: Sex Party Tips and Etiquette
2. Make Friends with Like-minded Couples
Online kinky dating sites are a good place to start. You don’t want things to get super weird between you and your friends… “Oh yeah, I was totally kidding about that. I so don’t want to sit in on you getting a blow job.” Awkward!
Whether you only want to watch, or you have a desire to perform as well, there are other couples out there just waiting to meet you. Be really specific about what you’re looking for and you’ll have a way better chance of finding it.
Read: How to Meet Kinky People
3. Watch Your Partner Masturbate
This is a good way to ease yourself into the world of voyeurism. I’ve watched partners pleasure themselves before and thoroughly enjoyed the show. Until doing research for this post, I didn’t realize that made me a voyeur!
You can do a bit of role playing and pretend that you’ve walked in on each other by mistake, or just ask to see what your partner does to satisfy herself when you’re not around. Then take a few notes.
Read: The Joys of Mutual Masturbation
For a little more voyeuristic realism, get permission to spy on the person you love through the window. Sneak up and peep through the glass while they are showering, or changing.
4. Watch Couples on a Live Cam
This is basically similar to watching porn, except you have the added thrill of knowing that the sex is happening in real time. You might have to do some searching before you find the right site for your needs, but once you do, you can enjoy hours of voyeuristic fun, right from the comfort of your own home.
5. Record Yourselves or Do It in Front of a Mirror
This is the old school quick and dirty way of doing things, but hey, if you think it might work for you, why not give it a try? Set a mirror up next to the bed, or on the ceiling if you’re not planning to offer your bed to mom and dad at Thanksgiving, and have at it.
Read: How to Use a Mirror During Sex
If you’re going to hit record on your shenanigans, just be sure your partner knows about it and is totally game. Also, and I’m sure you already know this, don’t share the recording with anyone unless your partner first consents.
How do you enjoy voyeurism with consent? Dare to share?
Tell us what you think