Just the Tips

BDSM Breakup Tips

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The end of any relationship is difficult, but a bdsm break up can even more challenging. The level of trust between a dom and sub runs so deep that once it’s broken, by cheating or feelings that have changed, both parties are going to take a long time to heal.

A dom may suddenly feel powerless and/or a sub may wonder what he did wrong to end the relationship. Sometimes couples attempt to continue their bdsm relationship without romantic feelings, although this is rarely a viable solution to moving on. Making a clean break and giving yourself time to recover is usually the best for both you and your partner.

Moving on from a BDSM Breakup

Support
Feeling alone is natural after a breakup. How open you are about your lifestyle can affect how much support you receive. If you’re not part of a larger bdsm community, this may be the time to reach out. There’s nothing like being able to discuss your specific pain with like-minded individuals. Online forums can also be a place for support and feedback.

Respect
Feeling angry is common after a breakup, especially if you’re on the receiving end. You may have thoughts of revenge and want to lash out, but don’t. Of course, you know very intimate details of your partner’s preferences and kinks (perfect revenge material), but they also know yours. Take the high road thus protecting both your reputations.

Property
Often bdsm couples, who’ve been together a long time, have accumulated many things – toys, videos, clothing, etc. You may need a third party to help divvy up your belongings. Another way to go is to give up most of your things and start fresh. A clean slate will open you up to the possibilities of someone new, a new relationship.

Time
You’ll be tempted to jump right into a new relationship, whether your motivation is to forget about your last partner or as a way of lashing out and hurting your ex. Most of time these don’t amount to anything long-lasting; the experience just adding a new level of hurt. Bdsm relationships require you to focus deeply on a partner, something which isn’t possible with the baggage you’ll be carrying in. Hurting someone else in turn is not the answer.

What’s your experience with bdsm breakups?

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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