BDSM relationships begin in many ways. Finding your ideal partner doesn’t usually happen at the local bar or health club. Many people turn to online dating when looking for a match because it’s anonymous and you can find sites geared towards the BDSM lifestyle. Discussions between interested parties – as to what each person is seeking in their unique relationship – can develop slowly and comfortably. Individuals can also express their fears, desires, and experiences before a mutually beneficial agreement is made.
Pre-Meeting Discussions
These will help to ensure safety and also keep you from wasting time looking for a good match. You don’t need to give everything away that you’ve done or tried in the past, but you do want to share basic information on what it is you’re looking for in a mate and a relationship. Keep the conversation light yet honest to keep potentials from running away.
Questions you may want to ask pre-meeting:
What is your name or nickname?
How old are you?
Where do you live?
Are you married or seeing someone? Are they aware of your preferences?
What type of relationship are you looking for?
What are your preferred activities?
What are your limits?
Do you have a sexual preference?
If you have some back and forth and are able to see that there’s a possibility that you may connect and want to meet this person face-to-face, here are a few more questions.
Where should we meet and when (keep it public for safety)?
What are you expecting from this encounter?
Is there a chance of physical activity when we meet? Do you want there to be?
Do you smoke, drink, or do drugs, how often?
Do you have medical issues I should know about such as pregnancy, allergies, epilepsy, HIV/AIDS?
Kinklovers: What other questions do you ask before meeting someone?
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