You’ve read books and seen erotic movies. And you know you’re into something kinky, you’re just not sure what to do to learn more.
To a person who is new to BDSM and kink, the lifestyle can seem overwhelming. There are lots of terms and various ways of using them. And there are lots of props, toys and accessories to enhance your fantasies and fetishes. So where to begin learning about kink and BDSM in real life?
1. Don’t stress. No matter the kink, everyone was a beginner at some point. The same goes for fetishes and BDSM fantasies. One place to begin is to brush up on some terms. Every group has a language of their own. BDSM and kink are no different. Learning some kinky vernacular is the first step to getting comfortable.
2. Take a course. There are many places where you can go, both online and in real life, to learn about BDSM basics. Try taking a virtual course and/or looking at an adult sex-ed video for ideas about what exact kinks are out there and which ones might appeal to you.
3. Take a trip to your local sex shop. If you live in a big city, there is likely a specialty shop close by. Even your local porn store can help you get a better idea of what types of fetish gear and toys are out there. Sometimes, seeing a real life example can not only help to educate, but also to inspire!
4. Explore your kink in real life. Once you get an idea of what fetishes and BDSM play you might be interested in trying, it’s time to find a partner. Kink-specific dating sites like FindaFemdom, StraponDating.com, and BDSMdate.com are great places to find like-minded people.
5. Explore your kink in the virtual world. If the idea of jumping into reality is intimidating, you can always explore your kink in the virtual world. Most BDSM dating sites have options for chatting only, and there are many kinky interactions in the web-cam world worth investigating.
Tell us what you think