I come across new areas of kink and BDSM all the time, whether through watching porn, browsing online blogs and articles, or through experimenting with fun partners. Something that I’ve always wanted to try is edging.
“Edging of sexual orgasm and withdrawing, usually several times, before finally achieving orgasm. Edging is meant to intensify orgasm, and for men, volume of ejaculate and force of ejaculation… this applies to any sexual act and is not limited to masturbation.” – Urban Dictionary
My lover recently asked if we could try edging, to delay his orgasm. It was very spontaneous without much discussion beforehand. We were lying in bed, and he straddled me. I grabbed his cock and began massaging and pulling just the way I know he likes it. He held his hands behind his back as if tied. When he showed signs that he was close to coming, I took my hands away for just a moment. This off-and-on play happened about ten times before I “let him” come, but not before he begged a little.
Both of us thought it was very hot and just the beginning of further exploration. Since then, I’ve been reading up on edging. Here’s a few tips…
Know your partner’s body. Edging isn’t the best kink to try with a first-time hookup. If you can’t bring your lover’s body to orgasm, bringing them to the brink over and over seems somewhat pointless and would be frustrating.
Recognize your stop-and-go rhythm. Some partners will want you to stop for a few seconds, others for a minute or longer. It’s through trying different rhythms that you’ll find yours as a couple.
Use props and accessories. If you’re already into bondage, this works awesome with edging. There’s nothing quite like being at someone’s mercy, especially when it comes to your sexual satisfaction.
Play dominant-submissive roles. A dominant partner will naturally want to be in control of a partner’s orgasm and conduct the edging, but don’t let that stop you from switching roles. I consider myself a submissive, but I played dominatrix to my lover and it was a blast.
Go longer each time. It will likely take you a few sessions with a partner to find out how many intervals each enjoys before wanting to orgasm. Or you may think you can push it a bit longer and boom—game over! I watch my lover’s face and body language for clues about how close he is to coming.
Discuss the experience. Some couples think it’s unsexy to talk about the sex they just had, but that’s prime time to learn more about how to please your partner because their head’s still in it. For example, my partner wants to be tied up for real next time and be on his back, so he feels even more vulnerable. I want to use a blindfold for an extra level of anticipation. We can’t wait for Round Two!
Tell us about your edging experience in the comments!
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