Not all our sexual fantasies play out the way we’ve imagined. The fantasies are usually high-def, high-gloss, reel-to-reel perfection, while the reality is often a hand-held B-movie with bad edits.
If you grew up thinking porn was anything like real-life sex, you might know what I’m talking about. The two are not alike in almost any way. (Please don’t use porn as teacher, young men. Learn from experience.)
Amazing unexpected trysts are a highlight of anyone’s sexual playlist, but it’s the interactions that don’t go as planned or go in a not-so-fun, off-the-rails direction that we can learn the most from.
These “bad” experiences are the ones we remember, sometimes years later. I’ve had a few threesomes that stick in my mind. Truth is I’d like to forget them, but the lessons I learned have helped to make other group encounters much better.
4 Things I Learned from Bad Threesomes
- Choose your partners wisely. I like to chalk this faux pas up to being young and inexperienced. My best friend and I liked to dance at clubs, knowing full well it turned on guys. We found a pair of Russians to take back to my place, where one of them passed out. Let’s just say there were problems with sharing and jealousy. It caused a rift that was never fully repaired. Today, I prefer to choose hookups online. There’s something more freeing to be with total strangers for adventurous sex.
- Find the right location. You may want to host the get-together instead of banking on someone providing a comfortable, safe environment. I’ve been to some scary bachelor pads, with creepy roommates sitting in the shadows. I don’t think it’s a good idea to invite home or to go home with strangers, so be sure to vet your hookups in advance before making any arrangements.
- Lower your expectations. This is a biggie. Vary rarely do I actually plan a threesome (usually when I have a steady relationship) as the best ones seem to happen spontaneously from a wild party or being out and meeting other adventurous souls. It’s unrealistic to expect someone you’ve just met to allow you to tie them up, or ask them to squeeze your nuts to satisfy your CBT fetish.
- Leave when it’s not fun anymore. I’ve stayed in very uncomfortable situations because I didn’t know how to assert myself the way I do now. Whether it’s you or your partner who isn’t enjoying themselves, it’s okay to leave or ask someone to leave at any time. There’s plenty of orgasms waiting down the road, so there’s no reason to force something that’s isn’t working.
Any threesome tips you want to share from experience? Please leave a comment!
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