4 Ways BDSM and Kink Can Build Intimacy

BDSM is great. It allows us to experiment with and test out sexual boundaries, express our deep-rooted desires in creative ways, and connect to a larger community of kink enthusiasts.

It’s also an effective way to spice up long-term relationships, while nurturing intimacy in the process.

4 Ways BDSM and Kink Can Build Intimacy

1. Deeper Communication

BDSM and kink exploration requires a conversation. Not only must you and your partner articulate your deepest fantasies, you need to establish limits, safe words and a unified understanding of the shape your kink will take. What are you hoping to gain from it? What lies behind your need to get freaky in this particular way?

There’s more to kink than handcuffs and blindfolds, it’s about having the courage to let someone in on your most private desires and building a world of your own erotic design.

2. Shared Experiences

In the process of building this word, you and your partner will grow as a couple. You’ll bond over the excitement of it, and the fact that it’s specific to the two of you. Even if one or both of you have gotten kinky in the past, going there together will be a whole new experience.

Sex is different with different partners, and kink adds even more variation to the mix. You’ll make memories together, and maybe even develop your own intimate language based on your unique connection.

3. Mutual Vulnerability

None of this deep bonding would be possible without a mutual willingness to be vulnerable. Sharing kinky desires can feel scary, especially if you’re not used to being open about such things. Sex is shameful for many of us, even sex that is super vanilla! Add to that the taboo of engaging in freaky things, and you’ve got the perfect excuse to shut down. What if your partner judges you, or finds you less attractive in light of your sexual leanings?

Once you let go of these fears, open up to one another, and discover that you’re both unapologetic kink lovers, you’ll really strengthen your feelings of intimacy.

4. Profound Trust

Trust is so crucial to kink. Some might say it’s what makes it possible! Without trust, kink isn’t actually kinky, it’s abusive. So even though you and your partner probably have a pretty trusting connection to begin with, your play sessions will only enhance it.

Respecting each other’s boundaries, and playing within the limits are huge parts of building and maintaining trust. Allow your kink and BDSM practices to evolve over time by communicating often, and don’t forget to work in some aftercare. It’s all part of the package.

How does BDSM and kink affect your relationship? Please share in the comments!