Do you feel comfortable or awkward when you make eye contact during sex? Does it turn you on, or make you lose your mojo?
How you respond to eye contact during sex probably depends a lot on the context!
Why Do People Make Eye Contact during Sex?
Eye contact while making love can add emotional intensity. When you feel deeply for another person, looking at each other while you exchange pleasure and create connection will amp up the experience. Eye contact can increase the bond you are building together during sex.
Eye contact when you’re having sex is a form of communication. It may not always be about a profound interpersonal intimacy. But you still want to check in with your partner to see how they’re enjoying themselves, or if they are feeling comfortable and excited about everything that is happening.
Eye contact can also rev up arousal. When you see your partner looking starry eyed and blissed out, it can be very exciting sexually to see the effect you have on them.
Read: Make Your Sex Life Bigger, Better, and Bolder
Is Eye Contact during Sex Important?
When it comes to sex and how people experience it, everyone has different needs, fetishes, and fantasies. Eye contact during sex is important, but not to everyone and not all the time.
Eye contact during sex can be an important aspect of developing and building trust between each other.
As we talked about above, exchanging those deep gazes can be really important when the sex is really intimate. But it might feel awkward or even invasive if you’re enjoying a no strings attached encounter, or having an affair!
Still, it’s probably important to have some eye contact during sex just to check on each other to make sure everyone’s still into it and having a good time.
Read:4 Ways BDSM and Kink Can Build Intimacy
Sex with No Eye Contact
Sex with no eye contact can feel evasive or guilty and impersonal. But sometimes that is what you want. It’s all about getting off, or getting each other off. If that’s the kind of connection you have, and you are both able to speak up easily if there’s something you need to change, sex without eye contact has its place.
Most eye contact during sex is not heavy handed, but more about checking in and amping things up. But most sex has some eye contact. If you are into degradation, depersonalization, objectification, or bondage fetishes in BDSM, sex with no eye contact may be a really key part of the play.
Read: All About Degradation Kink and How to Play
Role playing anonymous hookups, or meeting people you don’t know for raunchy sex, can feel incredibly taboo.
You might not have any eye contact during sex if one of you is blindfolded as part of BDSM bondage or sensory deprivation.
Using a gloryhole for sex has no eye contact.
Doggy style is popular with all genders for those occasions when fucking is the main course. There are lots of ways to be intimate and connect during sex, but sometimes it is just about fucking and nothing else, whether you are with a hot stranger or your husband of twenty-four years.
10 Tips for Effective Eye Contact during Sex
1. Use Positions Facing Each Other
Missionary positions or cowgirl positions are incredible for the easy access to kissing and making eye contact during sex. Experiment with using a range of positions that include those that face each other.
Read: 13 Types of Sex Positions, Endless Possibilities
2. Be Flirtatious with Your Eyes
Practice communicating and teasing with your eyes. See how much you tell your lover with eye contact alone. Can she read your mind? Can they tell how turned on you are? Smile with your eyes. Sometimes, it’s great to laugh and play during sex.
3. Avoid Staring
It can be creepy if you stare and never break your gaze. Make eye contact more naturally, and practice using it for longer glances. Look away, then check back in.
4. Make Eye Contact during Oral Sex
A lot of women love looking up to make eye contact while giving you head. Seeing your unbridled pleasure makes the experience really hot for us. But I know guys also love seeing her eyes while they suck him off. A lot of porn shows this exchange because it’s so sexy. This can also be part of a power exchange dynamic.
Read: Cunnilingus Fetish? 9 Kinks You Might Enjoy
5. Make Eye Contact during Sex for Orgasm
Watching each other climax by making eye contact is incredibly intimate. It can feel really awkward and intense or it can take things to the next level.
Read: Orgasm Control and 9 More Orgasm Kinks
6. Glance Back at Your Partner when They’re Behind
Even in positions like spooning and doggy where your partner is behind you, you can look back time to time to make eye contact during sex. This is really hot!
Read: Why Doggy Style Position is Perfect for Kinky Sex
7. Pair Eye Contact with Dirty Talk
Take your communication to the limit by making eye contact during sex, AND telling them exactly what they want to hear, or sharing your filthiest fantasies.
Read: Talking Dirty And Knowing What To Say
8. Engage in Tantric Eye Gazing
Tantric eye gazing is a thing! It is often called “soul gazing.” Lovers make eye contact for a long time to build trust, get past the weirdness of it, and really communicate on a whole other level.
Tantra, which is an ancient form of deep, bonding, sensual sex might be called “soul sex.” Soul gazing is part of it. With the right person, you can try it.
9. Use Blindfolds
Blindfolding is the opposite of making eye contact during sex. The sensory deprivation can build other sensory input or cause anticipation, or build trepidation, anxiety and surprise during punishment or humiliation.
Read: Blindfold Sex: 10 Blindfold Ideas for BDSM and Beyond
10. Do What You’re Comfortable With
Experimenting with eye contact during sex is an easy way to change things up. Be comfortable, of course. You don’t want to go full on soul gazing during a casual hookup, but you don’t want to leave your lover out in the cold either because you forget to check in by looking into their eyes.
What is your comfort level with eye contact during sex? Please share!
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