So you wanna try group sex but you’re not sure if your partner would be interested… or approve. Where do you start?
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Often when someone brings up (or begins to consider) sex with a third it’s because their libido is beginning to wander. Asking about adding an extra partner will in such a case bring about argument and, in the worst case, dissolution of the relationship.
Let’s say that’s not the case and your sex life is strong. If so you’ll likely be able to broach the subject over dinner or on the subway or during the intermission of the play whose title we shall not name.
But—BUT—there’s a nifty way to do it that makes the job even easier—porn. When you’re watching porn together, throw on some threesome clips. If something catches your partner’s fancy just ask, “Would you ever be willing to try that?”
You might not get an immediate “yes,” but you’ll at least launch the discussion. Maybe they wouldn’t be into that, but they might be into this instead. Once you’ve found something you both like, things get interesting. Talk about what you’d each like to do in such a scenario. Is there enough to keep you busy?
Then talk jealousy. How do you feel about having your partner play with someone else? Would it drive you mad? What if you could see with your own eyes how excited someone else was making them? If you suspect jealousy, your threesome idea is over.
I say all this taking for granted that people who do threesomes are into porn. (I know exceptions, but not many.) If you watch porn—especially with your partner—chances are the threesome door is open for business.
A word of warning: I highly recommend you don’t bring up the idea of a third before, after, or during sex. No matter how strong your relationship is, it’ll come across as though you’re dissatisfied. I know, I know, it might seem like a good time because your partner’s feeling sexy in the moment; but they will think you were busy fantasizing about someone else.
And that’s icky.
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