If you’re already in a relationship with a kinky adventurous woman, then you know that sex isn’t always on the table for many a reason. Or if you’re dating long distance, you know that you need to get creative when it comes to staying connected sans sex. And if you’re just looking online, you can still enjoy your kinks without sex with the right person, without having met.
Many kinks and fetishes have little to do with sex, for example pony play or diaper fetish or foot worship—these and many others are often enjoyed without any kind of intercourse or penetration.
Maybe you don’t want sex, you don’t enjoy sex, or you just don’t care because you have other more important things in your life. If you still want to explore BDSM, here are some kinks to explore in and out of relationships.
Still looking for play partners to indulge your kinky side? With or without sex, you’ll find thousands of local kinky people online. Check out our Guide to Kinky Dating Sites to get started.
How to Get Kinky without Sex
1. Foot fetish
Most men who like to worship a woman’s feet are more than happy to just focus on that, without it ever leading to sex. And most women are more than happy to oblige. She may not want her toes sucked, but she’ll most def let you massage them. You can also indulge your fetish by taking her shoe shopping, dressing her up in hose, or giving her a pedicure.
Read: 8 Types of Foot Worship & How to Worship Feet
2. Pet Play
Animal lovers in relationships can enjoy this kind of play, with one of you taking on the role of the other’s pet. Those of you in D/s relationships can transfer that dynamic to an owner/pet relationship. Maybe the “dog” needs to sleep in a cage at night or the “cat” can be brought out to the backyard to wander on a leash. Maybe you both want to dress up and explore furry fandom which has an entire community to connect with.
3. Electrostimulation
I went to a BDSM fair a couple years back and came upon a woman in skimpy leather, tied with leather straps to a tilted wooden rack. If that wasn’t arousing enough, there was a man dressed up as a mad scientist attaching nipple clamps that I soon found out would give her some kind of electric charge, nothing dangerous yet shocking (excuse the pun) all the same.
If this piques your interest, do some research into this exciting kink before you explore. Read Get Zapped with Erotic Electrostimulation to learn more.
4. Sensation Play
Sensation play is so expansive, there is something for everyone from vanilla to hardcore. You can tickle your lover’s naked torso with a feather, cover them in whip cream before you lick it off, or spank them red with a ping pong paddle.
For next-level fun add blindfolds and earplugs for sensory deprivation and heightened anticipation. Other kinks that fall under the sensory umbrella include wax play, wet and messy fetish, and tickle torture.
See Sensation Play for Beginners.
5. Orgasm Denial
Orgasm denial will have someone going as far as they can can go sexually, only to be denied. You just have to know which side you want to be on. Would you derive extreme pleasure from teasing your lover to the brink, only to deny her requests to finish her off. Or does your fantasy have you tied up and her playing stop and go with your cock while you beg for mercy. I’d say both sides are worth trying.
6. Phone Sex
Here’s your choice for sex without sex. Whether you already have a partner to engage with over the wire, or you pay to play with a sex worker, this can be as good as the real thing. And it’s safe. Find yourself a private space and time, so you can kick back in your bed or on the couch and let the dirty talk flow.
If it’s really good, you’ll probably find yourself with your hands down your pants and coming before too long. So I guess this is technically a kink that includes sex… I had to put one in for those of you who can’t help yourself.
What nonsexual kink would you add to this list? Please share in the comments!
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