What Is a Sexually Dominant Man?
A sexually dominant man is a man who takes control in the bedroom—before, during, and after sex.
A sexually dominant man is confident in his skills and sexual abilities to please a woman. He will take charge and lead the dance. He will know and understand his sexual motivations and look for women who can bring his fantasies and fetishes to fruition.
Read: How to Be More Dominant in Bed
Why Do Women Like Sexually Dominant Men?
Confidence is often the number one trait in men that women find attractive, and sexually dominant men exude confidence in spades.
For women who are naturally submissive, they will have no problem in handing over the sexual reins to a dominant man who knows what he wants from sex.
Sexually dominant women may also be attracted to sexually dominant men because of the inherent power struggle, the unavoidable back-and-forth that creates a highly charged sexual scene.
Some women who are fine in either the submissive or dominant role find dominant men hotter than hell because of the sexual awareness they come with. These women don’t need to worry about being satisfied—they know it will happen.
Many sexually dominant men are kinky and experienced in BDSM practices. This can be extremely thrilling for a vanilla woman who wants to explore her sexual boundaries and limits through kinky play.
Read: BDSM Roles: 33 Dominant and Submissive Roles
15 Signs He Might Be Dominant in Bed
1. He Takes the Lead on Dates
When you meet a man online, and he jumps to plan and arrange your date—when you go out, where you go, what you do—it’s a sign that he may very well like taking charge in the bedroom as well. Sexually dominant men often take the lead outside the bedroom too.
Read: How to Meet Kinky People
2. He’s Effective and Organized in His Life
A sexual dom is often successful through action in their home and work lives. They get things done and make things happen, sexual or not. A man who lives in a ramshackle abode and can’t manage money often doesn’t have the skills to dominate sexually.
3. He Exhibits Confidence and Charisma
Sexually dominant men are confident in themselves and their prowess with women. They exude charm and charisma that is often used to seduce a woman into their bed. When you first meet, he may act that sex is a done deal before you’ve even considered it.
Read: How to Eat Pussy and Drive Her Wild: 14 Tips and Ideas
4. He’s Assertive without Being Aggressive
There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, assertiveness and aggressiveness. He will assert himself, and his masculinity, to let you know he likes to lead. He may ask you out in the grocery store or at the bus stop. He will be forward but not without respect.
Read: How to Meet Women into BDSM
5. He’s Protective of His Loved Ones
The sexually dominant man is often very protective of his loved ones—family members, friends, co-workers. He will talk highly of those in his immediate circle. He values those who are loyal and loving towards him, and he will tell you he would do anything for them. This protective behavior is loving, thought, not abusive.
Read: 5 BDSM Dominants to Avoid
6. He’s Calm and Patient
This kind of man will have no problem waiting until you are ready to surrender sexually. He doesn’t need to use his force to make sex happen, but rather his charm and confidence in knowing it will happen in good time.
Read: BDSM Training: A Guide for Beginners
7. His Body Language Shows Dominance
Body language is always a good indicator of whether a man is sexually dominant or submissive. The former man will have good posture, he will move well within his body, he will appear relaxed yet engaged. He will stand firm, or sit with his legs apart (known as the crotch display).
8. He’s Direct and Decisive
There’s no hemming and hawing with a sexually dominant man. He knows what he wants, sexually and otherwise. He never beats around the bush, but says what’s on his mind. He’ll tell you the truth without sugar coating it, and when decisions have to be made, he’s your man.
Read: The BDSM Dom: 16 Types of Dominants in BDSM
9. He’s In Control and People Depend on Him
A sexually dominant man likes to be in control in most aspects of their life—it is their comfort zone. And those around them are more than happy to let them lead because they are confident and possess the skills necessary to deal with unforeseen disasters.
10. He’s Disciplined in His Diet and Exercise
This man often takes pride in his appearance. How he looks beneath the sheets is important and part of the package he presents. He will care about his health, mental and physical, following a strict diet and physical exercise regime.
Read: Mental Health Benefits of BDSM
11. He Initiates and Holds Eye Contact
A possible hookup you’ve met at the bar may play possum, but not the sexually confident man. He will not be shy about making eye contact and will initiate it with a woman he is interested in. He won’t run from intimacy. He may even look her up and down, imagining sex and what he wants to do with her body.
Read: 4 Ways BDSM and Kink Can Build Intimacy
12. He’s Competitive
A sexually dominant man often enjoys dominating through competition in other areas of his life. He will use his intellect to compete in his career and work. He may join a sports league that shows off his brawn and physical skills. He likes to win in life.
13. He ‘s Socially Confident and Relaxed
This dominant male has a relaxed social life. He doesn’t have trouble making friends or engaging in large groups of people. While some sexually dominant men are introverts, many more are extroverts who fill up their gas tank by being around others.
Read: Tips for Finding Sexual Compatibility
14. He’s into BDSM (Not as a Sub)
Sexually dominant men are clued in to what they like sexually, what they want to do with a woman and what they want done to them. They have fantasies and fetishes they want to fulfill and enjoy exploring BDSM practices. They thrive as a dominant in their chosen role.
Read: BDSM Ideas: The BIG List of BDSM Play
15. He Tells You
You may not need any signs to point to a man being sexually dominant. He might just come right out and tell you. Hallelujah! Some men are more than happy to announce, even in public, that they are cock of the walk—a sexual force to be reckoned with. While this may be off-putting to some women, those who love a dom in bed will jump for joy.
Read: Poll: How Dominant Are You in Bed?
What signs tip you off to a sexually dominant man? What signs say otherwise?
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