Just the Tips

Simple Ways to Up Your Kink Factor

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If you feel like your love life is a little too meat and potatoes, or you long for a few more flavors, I have some tips to help.

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You don’t have to go all the way from lights out in the missionary position to dressing in bear costumes and urinating on each other in a single night—that would be too much like going from your comfortable steak and mash to eating chilled monkey brain couscous.

Get in touch with your erogenous zones. You obviously know about your dick, and you might be into kissing, but there is so much more. For example, a woman can tweak a man’s nipples during sex, and the nerve endings run right down to the dick.

This seems basic, but honestly a lot of men don’t want to do this because it feels feminine. Some of those men just don’t know what feels good and haven’t been exposed to it. Letting your nipples get touched is a good first step to give up some control over your body.

Explore the prostate. The prostate is strongly linked to more powerful orgasms. Stimulating it will get a man to shoot like a cannon. Have her slide a finger down there during full-on sex when you’re too excited to stop and say, “What the fuck?” When you’re more comfortable have your lover massage or lick your asshole, and enjoy the result.

Once you begin experimenting with your body, you’ll want to continue trying kinky things in order to get that hit. A willingness to give up some control will allow for more complicated acts and sexier games.

Try blindfolds and restraints. Toys and props are fun and range from kink lite to hardcore BDSM, so you and your partners can start where you feel at ease. Blindfolds provide a mysterious factor that heightens the anticipation of what may or may not happen. Bondage play requires a particular level of trust, and works well for couples who have clear dominant and submissive personalities.

Use your voice and talk dirty. Experiment with commands and instructions (or begging and pleading if you’re submissive). If you don’t have a d/s relationship, you can engage in more playful conversation through sexy role playing scenarios.

How far you want to indulge your fantasies and fetishes will depend on many factors, including trust and sexual compatibility. Start slow, play safe, and have fun!

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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