Threesome Deal Breakers

Sometimes the fancy-sex just isn’t worth it if it means having to put up with a knob. You can’t always tell beforehand who’ll be a party pooper. But it’s never too late to pull the plug on a party.

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Here’s my own deal-breaker list:

Unsafe sex. Sometimes you’ll meet someone who, at the critical moment, announces he prefers not to wear a condom. 1) As if, and 2) who knows if he gets away with it elsewhere. Uh-uh. Wrap it up or take a hike.

Boundary crossing. You should always make your boundaries clear up front. If someone crosses the line they’ve disrespected you and your wishes. How can you subsequently trust someone who does so? No means no. Always. Otherwise, party over.

Jealousy. I’m sorry, but getting jealous during a threesome doesn’t make sense. You’re there to share. Sometimes you’re in the spotlight, sometimes you’re playing a supporting role. You do know a threesome involves three people, right? And that it’s physically impossible to be the centre of attention at all times? If you’re a jealous person, your vibe will spoil the mood.

No profile pics. I understand and appreciate discretion. But you know what they say: no pics, no play. A profile pic is about more than showing off your gorgeousness. It’s about levelling the playing field as each party “puts themselves out there” just enough to hook a kinky hookup. If you’re not willing to take that step, then why would someone take a chance on you?

Posting pics. The flip side of needing pics in your profile is not wanting pics from the session posted online (unless you consent). Don’t ever—ever—take pics during a session unless having first been given permission to do so. Otherwise you will never be invited back. Discuss pics beforehand. Maybe you can take them—just don’t post them.

Video. Same as above. Don’t take video unless you’ve been given the green light. Then be happy to keep it as offline fodder. Otherwise you go to threesome jail.

Follow the rules, people, please follow the rules.

Go Team Go!

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