Just the Tips

Tips for Kinky Lingerie Shopping

Lingerie expresses our different moods, from our practical side to flirty to tough to sweet and silly. We can try out different personas and appreciate pretty things underneath the daily grind.

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Say yes to giving the gift of lingerie, and keep in mind these tips before you buy.

Shop for her taste first.

You are naturally thinking about what you want to see her in, but the first rule for lingerie is to indulge her with what she loves. When you choose something for her, you want it to be FOR HER.

There is nothing wrong with asking her to indulge your desperate lust to see her in a lacy lilac number, but if she loves gauzy nude-colored lingerie, that is the aisle to go down first.

Gift in moderation.

It was super sweet to get a beautiful see-through negligee the third time I saw a man I was really into. We had really hot sex. But the next date, he tried to give me a dozen high-end couture French panties, plus stockings, shoes, and bras. He spent upwards of a thousand, and it felt creepy like he wanted some kind of power over me. I didn’t want to owe him that much, and it was too intense all at once. Even if it was my husband, that’s too much of a good thing.

Keep it simple with one or two little things at a time, or a nice matching set.

Think about kink.

Spoil her just because you love her, or because she’s sexy. But while you’re at it, think about the kinds of kink you want to explore with her or already love, and use that to help you choose just the right thing. Kinky role playing has a million possibilities, and you can shop lingerie to prepare for them.

Take her with you.

Guys can’t judge size, and you are no exception. But even if you have her exact measurements, lingerie fitting can be complicated. I’m a medium for most styles but thongs are small and high-waist styles are large. It all depends on the cut of things, or how a company styles.

She’ll be more familiar with what has worked in the past or whether the right size has the necessary support just by looking at the stuff, even online. So ask for her input.

Use variety for adventurous play.

Changing the visuals in erotic play, and in undressing for sex is one of the key ways we keep our imagination and libido fired up. Even for long-term monogamous couples, such a simple thing as underwear can be the solution to maintaining regular and hot sex.

Don’t get stuck on your favorites, or hers either. Enjoy them, but be playful enough to try other roles and moods. She might love leather bras and thongs to go with her whip, while you’re tied to a chair. Maybe plain white panties help channel her inner school girl, or wearing a racy red body-hugging teddy transforms her into a pole-dancing vixen.

Buy something for yourself.

Who wears short shorts? You wear short shorts!

Don’t neglect the men’s department. We want to see something other than the same old worn-out boxers. Surprise her in some fine Italian designer g-strings, or a soft red leather ball cup I’ll want to put my hands on.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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