BDSM Myths

When I started writing for Kink Lovers, I didn’t know a lot about BDSM. I thought it was some weird sex thing that I didn’t want to partake in. Fast forward four and a half years, and I would definitely say I like to get my kink on. I’ve learned a lot about BDSM from reading and researching, but also by trying new things like bondage and role playing. Kink has really made sex a lot more fun than I ever knew possible.

If you are new to BDSM and not sure where to begin, this blog is great place to start. There’s lots of good information, as well as personal stories and shared experiences from a wide range of personalities. Here are a few myths that permeate the BDSM community.

5 BDSM Myths

1. It’s all about pain and humiliation. A lot of people instantly think of chains and whips and leather when someone mentions BDSM. Some kinky folk do engage in pain or punishment that may include spanking or flogging, but it’s always consensual with safety measures in place such as safe words. Many would describe the pain as a kind of pleasure that is arousing.

2. Women are always submissive. I would say there are more dominant men seeking submissive women than the other way around, but you better believe there are sub guys who would love to lick a dominatrix’s boots while she spanks him with a riding crop.

3. BDSM is for deviants. The great thing about kink is that you really can’t tell who does what just by looking at them. That shy girl in your English Lit class may be working as a dominatrix to help pay her way through college. Or your loud obnoxious neighbour may like dressing up in women’s underwear while begging his wife to spank him. It’s become much more mainstream as it’s something more people are exploring.

4. It’s all about sex. Some BDSM relationships don’t involve sex at all. It could be a platonic partnership between a dominant and submissive who get off on the power exchange rather than sex. And a lot of kinksters get turned on by a fetish or fantasy through solo BDSM play.

5. Older people don’t partake. You’re never too old to let your freak flag fly. Join a kinky dating site like BDSMdate.com, and you will find a plethora of seniors looking for their next kink-compatible lover. Or attend a BDSM convention where you will see both the young and old looking to expand their kinky horizons.