Sapiophilia: Brains Over Brawn?

You hear it all the time: the most important sex organ is your brain.

But have you heard of sapiosexual?

What Is Sapiophilia?

For sapiophiles, or people who identify with sapiophilia, this is literally true.

Kinky people in general understand how important the mind is for hot sexual experiences. The creativity, planning, staging, anticipation, and scene setting that many fetishes involve or revolve around all require incredible imagination and a reasonable amount of intelligence.

But sapiophilia describes people who are turned on by and derive sexual pleasure from intelligence.

For sapiophiles, the most attractive feature in a sexual partner is intelligence. Sapiophilia is the “love of smart people.” The word “sapient” means “wise” and “philia” means “love of.”

Read: Older Woman Younger Man: 10 Examples of Anililagnia

Is Sapiophilia really a Thing?

You may have stumbled into a debate or a philosophical discussion, where someone said sapiosexuality is an unnecessary term because there is no such sexual orientation. Someone else may have said sapiophilia is a bona fide fetish, with another saying they didn’t need a label for every attraction they felt.

Some feel that people call themselves sapiophiles to signal their evolved taste for intelligence over such pedestrian markers like physical beauty. Sapiophiles are sometimes seen as arrogant or as anti-sex, as if they dismiss the stuff that gets most of us going.

Read: What Are My Kinks? 13 Ways to Find Your Kink

On the one hand, having a vocabulary can give people the tools they need to express themselves accurately and meet sexual and romantic partners who serve their needs and desires. On the other hand, is sapiophilia really a fetish, or is intelligence simply a quality that many people find attractive?

A sense of humor is always near the top of most attractive qualities, and we don’t think of our search for love and laughter as a kink or fetish.

Read: The 4 Sexiest Traits in Men

Those who feel that sapiosexuality or sapiophilia are not genuine sexual orientations or sexual fetishes are not usually, however, arguing that sapiophilia does not exist.

It definitely exists. For many people, intelligence is an important part of sexual attraction. While it may not be first on everyone’s list, it can be more lasting than the youthful glow and beautiful ripe breasts that appeal but quickly fade.

Many people find a slow simmer of interesting conversation a more profound and complete experience when it comes to romance.

The stereotype for sapiophilia is of a homely and predatorial professor type seducing buxom acolytes who hang on his every word. But many of us have found someone with a brilliant mind incredibly stimulating.

Most people in the fetish and BDSM community enjoy diversity of lovers when it comes to age, weight, and looks. We know there is beauty in humans of every shape and size.

Whether we want another kink label or not, some of us understand sapiosexuality because we feel turned on by lovers with unique and brilliant minds. We may undress the nerdy physics major because lusty fantasies follow a meeting of the minds!

Read: How to Meet Kinky People

Qualities in Sapiophiles

One ugly stereotype about sapiophilia is that people who have it tend to be unattractive. Expressing their love for brains over brawn is not, however, about compensation.

Sapiosexual people have the same range of physical qualities as anyone else. And sapiophiles are not usually “dumb blondes” either—they tend to be fairly intelligent themselves.

Some common qualities of people with sapiophilia are intelligence, curiosity, open-mindedness, and a love of travel. They tend to be well-read and educated. While these traits are common, sapiophiles can be anyone.

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Was Marilyn Monroe the Most Famous Sapiophile?

Remember all those wonderful photos of Marilyn Monroe in a negligee, reading? Marilyn, the quintessential sex symbol and widely regarded to many as the most beautiful woman of all time, loved her husband author Arthur Miller, and was attracted to numerous men of great intellectual status.

While back in the day much ado was made of her breathless and ditzy qualities, today we now know how ambitious and brilliant Marilyn was. She was no dumb blonde—she just played one on TV.

Kinks and Fetishes for Sapiophiles and the Smart People They Love

While there is no specific kink or fetish that intelligent people especially enjoy, smart people and the people that love them or lust after them generally enjoy the imaginative and creative qualities in many BDSM kinks and fetishes.

BDSM

BDSM plays with, questions, and enacts various forms of power exchange. This can be very exciting in a sapiophilia context. Many intellectual people love the experience of submission because they can just “let go” and be. Others enjoy experiencing their power in as sexual way in domination.

Read: BDSM and Total Power Exchange Relationships

Shibari

The ancient and elaborate art of shibari is bondage, Japanese style. This BDSM fetish requires skill, patience, and knowledge, a respect for tradition, and a sublime sense of the aesthetic.

Read: Japanese Bondage: Learn Shibari Rope Bondage

Role Play

Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and playing a variety of roles in an erotic context is extremely stimulating to someone with an intellectual bent. While most of us enjoy a bit of role play, sapiophiles and the objects of their affection can really get into the story and play the parts as if they are in a movie.

Read: Sexual Roleplay: A Guide for Roleplay Beginners

Literary Erotica and Sensual Cinema

While not really a kink or fetish, immersion into the sensual arts can be stimulating and bonding. People who enjoy sapiophilia may really enjoy the full experience of erotic literature and films, enjoy the conversation about themes and history, and appreciate the cinematic qualities of BDSM-themed films.

For example, studying the literature of the Marquis de Sade or early Sapphic poetry might be the idea of a perfect date or foreplay for many sapiophiles!

Read: 17 BDSM Movies That Will Turn You On

Sensation Play

Sensation play is all about the full-body experience and engaging all of the senses. It’s also very creative and provides an unrushed experience where deep conversation can take place.

Read: Sensation Play Tips, Tools, and Ideas

Tantric Sex

Ritual sex or slow, spiritual sex in the eastern tradition can be extremely fulfilling intellectually and physically for many people. The historical context and the discipline is part of the reward.

Read: Kinky Yoga and Tantric Sex

Does intellect turn you on more than physical beauty? Please share!