As I explore the various roles the BDSM community has to offer, I’ve become curious about role reversal between doms and subs. I’ve played both parts but don’t feel I’m 100% either. Is this unusual, or is there more versatility than I thought between the two?
I don’t think I could ever be just one or the other because how I behave in the bedroom depends on my mood, which changes like the wind. When I’m feeling confident and strong I want to dominate; when my self-esteem is low, or I feel guilty about something then I’d rather play submissive and receive a little pleasurable punishment. Being able to embrace the different facets of my sexual personality excites me.
Internet exploration on the subject uncovered the term ‘switch’ to describe one who engages in and enjoys both domination and submission. Apparently some members of the BDSM community frown upon ‘switches’ because they believe you can only truly be one or the other, and if you go back and forth you are not serious about BDSM.
I may be new to this area of sexual exploration, but c’mon! I don’t think anyone should dictate or put down how one decides to sexually satisfy themselves and others.
‘Switch’ can also refer to enjoying being both a “bottom,” who prefers to receive pain and stimulation, but who does not give up psychological power or control; and a “top,” who enjoys inflicting pain on others but does not seek pyschological control of their partners. I have not yet experienced sexual sadism or masochism, but wonder how many people do enjoy both of these.
Of those I have talked to, and who enjoy role reversals, they also admit that they generally prefer one role over another, predominantly taking that position.
Kinklovers: Do you identify with only one role in BDSM? Or would you call yourself a ‘switch?’
Tell us what you think