Of all the ways to get yourself out there into the wide, wild, sexy world of BDSM, arguably the most effective is through kinky niche dating sites like BDSMdate.com.
While online dating can be an effective tool when looking for kinky love or just an enthusiastic playmate, it’s not without its headaches. Issues may include everything from knowing how to behave on a first date, building trust, and choosing dating profile pics, but here we’re going to look at writing a great profile.
With a bit of luck and real effort, this might just be your ticket to BDSM good times.
Tips for Writing a BDSM Dating Profile
One of the biggest things to do when creating your profile is to be up front. Although his can be daunting, especially if you’re green to the scene and might be worried that saying so might torpedo your chances of connecting, it’s okay to say you are a BDSM newbie. While some people might not want to take on someone who needs instruction, it’s better than hooking up and being exposed as not having a clue.
Trust us when we say that pretending to be someone you’re not is only going to bite you in your unspanked backside. Just like in the offline world of BDSM, news can travel very fast within the community and can result in a bad reputation or being shunned.
When you write your profile, share what experiences you’ve engaged in and those you would like to try. A willingness to learn, even through mistakes, is much appreciated within the community.
A positive attitude throughout your profile will make it shine. For instance, focus on what you do like, rather than what you don’t, unless it’s a serious deal breaker. It’s always wise to put out your limits and boundaries, as a way to not waste anyone’s time.
Be Yourself, Not a Role
One of the biggest mistakes folks who are new to online dating make is to think they should be commanding if they are a dom, or passive if they are a sub.
All this does is cloud who you are, which is what most people experienced in BDSM consider to be what’s truly important. So leave your role behind, and write your profile to include your whole self, beyond kink. Yes, you can share what you’re into, looking for, and what you’ve done before, but resist snapping your fingers in command or prostrate yourself in submission.
Being funny through writing is not always an easy thing to do—it’s a fine line between getting a laugh and pissing someone off. Because of this, we suggest you only use humor if you know you’re good at it, and then only sparingly.
If done well, humor shows you don’t take yourself all that seriously and that you are a well-rounded human being, which is never a bad thing. Too much joking or self-deprecation can come off as not taking the scene, and how risky it can be, seriously. Find the balance!
Don’t Rely on Preferences
Many kink dating sites have the cool option of allowing their users to select what kinky activities they are not only into, but want to try. While handy as a way to get your desires or concerns out there, try not to think of this feature as the end all and be all—use it to supplement, rather than define your profile. Just ticking boxes can make you come across as lazy which is not a good look.
Learn from other Profiles
It’s not uncommon to feel nervous and unsure about your first online dating profile. A great way to get past this anxiety is to take some time looking at how other people express themselves.
We’re not saying to straight-up copy them, but to notice what stands out. It might be their tone or style of writing. It might be the way they’ve formatted the information or what unique characteristics they’ve shared. Remember, you can always tinker with your profile as time goes by—regular updates is always a good idea.
Online dating for many kinky folks has become a tried-and-true method of connecting to the BDSM community and finding relationships, everything from casual playmates to serious long-term partners. But you won’t get anywhere with kinky online dating until you take the time to create a stand-out profile.
What tips can you share for writing online dating profiles?