What Is Anililagnia?
Anililagnia is the attraction to women much older than oneself—men who desire, date, hook up with, or are in arrangements or relationships with older women.
Older women in these scenarios are sometimes referred to as mature women, cougars, extreme cougars, sugar mamas, MILFs, hot grannies. Younger men seeking older women may be called studs, bulls, boytoys, or little boys by their older counterparts.
Why Younger Men Desire Older Women
Younger men are attracted to older women for many reasons.
Many older women are comfortable in their skin, in their bodies. They exude a confidence that only comes from age, through experience.
Older women know what kind of relationship they are looking for, and perhaps more importantly what they don’t want. Younger men don’t have to guess or play weird mind games—an older woman will just say the truth.
Read: Older Women Dating: How to Date Older Women
Older women are often wiser, more educated, more worldly. Many young men appreciate brains as much as beauty, so why not have both. A mature woman’s career or money may be part of the attraction, especially to a willing boy toy. She may represent the mother figure a young man is desperately seeking.
Sex is often much better with an older woman. Mature women don’t need the lights out when they have sex because they are more comfortable in their bodies. Older women aren’t afraid to make the first move or teach their younger lovers a sexual trick or two. They know what gets themselves off and will share this.
Older women know their kinks and fetishes, and have experience with BDSM. They may be with you because younger men are THEIR kink.
Read: How to Attract Kinky Cougars
Let’s look at some of the many anililagnia relationships out there.
10 Older Woman Younger Man Scenarios
1. Cougars and Cubs
Often the first word that comes to mind for a woman who dates younger men is “cougar.” This type of older woman is often purposefully out on the prowl for younger men she wants to have casual sex with.
With anililagnia, the “cub” is not “prey,” but a more than willing partner. If a younger man is only after sex, there are many cougars out there looking for casual sex. Cougars often go out in packs to find young studs to satisfy their cravings.
Read: Cougar Cub Relationships: A Cougar Explains
2. Sugar Mamas and Boy Toys
Some younger men are attracted to older women because they are established and have money, money they are willing to shower on their younger lovers.
If the man doesn’t mind being a boy toy who knows his place, there are many older women willing to play the sugar mama role. There is a power exchange in this kind of arrangement wherein the younger man is somewhat bought and paid for, but if he doesn’t mind being submissive to a degree, it can work beautifully.
Read: How to Find a Sugar Mama
3. MILF Attraction
Some guys refer to a sexy older woman as a MILF (mother I’d like to fuck). This term at times is used as a catchall for any beautiful older woman, whether she has children or not.
If there is a true MILF attraction, it may be because the younger man puts not only older women on a pedestal, but also motherhood. He may find that being a mom who can balance it all adds a sexy layer.
Read: MILF Hookups: Fulfilling your MILF Fetish
4. Gerontophilia
You don’t need to look any further than porn to learn that hot grannies or extreme cougars are a thing for some younger men. It’s anililagnia times ten.
This is a branch of the younger man older woman dynamic that sees guys lusting after women decades older—women in their sixties, seventies, eighties, and yes, sometimes older. This attraction may be linked to all kinds of sexual imprinting that only a psychologist can unravel. But if grannies get you off, why not!
Read: 11 Age Play Fetishes and Kinks
5. MDLB Kink
Mommy Dom Little Boy is a BDSM relationship wherein the woman acts as a dominant mother figure to the man who portrays a little boy. The woman and man need not have an actual age gap, but may only be role playing one.
This kinky arrangement sees a strict but loving mommy taking care of her little boy’s needs. She will be loving and affectionate but may also need to discipline or punish her boy when he acts out. This relationship does not always involve sex, especially if there is some kind of infantilism involved.
Read: All About Mommy Doms and MDLB Kinks
6. Virginity Kink
Many younger men who are still virgins seek an older woman to pop their cherry. Many older women see this as a privilege and will take care to ensure a virgin’s first time is memorable, no matter how fast he comes.
Some older women have a virgin kink, and seek exclusively inexperienced men because they love teaching bedroom skills to young men. Older women understand younger men and don’t have the same expectations as younger women which can mean more relaxing sexual experiences.
Read: Virgin Fetish: History, Culture & Ways to Play
7. Hotwifing Lifestyle
The hotwifing lifestyle has married women out fucking other men, with not only the permission but also the encouragement of their husbands. Hotwifing is one of many ethical non-monogamous (ENM) relationships making its mark outside of traditional conventions.
The “hotwife” may be an older woman who is tired of having sex with the same man year after year, and is now bedding younger men because she is still hot and can attract multiple studs to her stable. The younger man here may be one of many, but he may also enjoy the freedom of this particular arrangement.
Read: What Is a Hotwife? Living the Hotwife Lifestyle
8. Cuckold Connection
Another ENM relationship, that has similarities to hotwifing, is the cuckold arrangement. Here you will find an older woman who has sex outside her primary relationship with her partner’s knowledge, but uses it as a form of humiliation.
The husband or boyfriend will submit to this and will often find it very arousing. Her choice in men will often be younger, more handsome, more hung—anything to show up her husband. The younger man cuckold may also be enlisted to fuck her in front of her husband or boyfriend.
Read: 15 Types of Cuckolds and Their Fantasies
9. No-Strings Hookups
Younger man older woman scenarios may be casual, with neither partner interested in a repeat hookup or long-term relationship. This kind of sex is often explosive and intense by nature, with the experienced older woman taking control, much to the younger man’s delight.
Younger men seeking older women for one night stands or even a friends-with-benefits relationship can find this setup easily on dating sites and apps, especially niche sites that cater to this age-gap dynamic.
Read: Find Older Hookups: Older Women Hookup Sites
10. Sex Worker & Client
Younger men, especially those who are dating or sex inexperienced may find their fix for an older woman through hiring a sex worker. This arrangement is a time-tested tradition for younger men who can’t find sex or have a fetish for older women but are not sure how to go out and find one.
When you pay for sex, you get what you pay for. Many younger men who are attracted to much older women also are submissive and will choose to hire a dominatrix to get their rocks off.
Read: Should You Hire a Sex Worker?
Do you have a fetish for older women? Please share your fantasies!
Tell us what you think