Kinky Confessions

What is a Hotwife? Living the Hotwife Lifestyle

Woman with Two Boyfriends

What is a Hotwife?

A hotwife is a woman who openly sleeps with men outside of her marriage or primary relationship, much to her partner’s delight.

The hotwife’s husband loves that she is hot enough to easily attract and have sex with another man – usually referred to a the hotwife’s bull. He enjoys and often encourages the hotwife arrangement, and is usually aroused at the thought of her with other men.

What is Hotwifing?

Hotwifing is similar to both open relationships and cuckolding, with a few important distinctions.

In the hotwifing lifestyle, it is the woman who has multiple partners, but her extracurricular relations are also exciting to her man.

Hotwifing vs Cuckolding

Cuckolding is when a wife or girlfriend takes other lovers that a man might feel are superior or more manly than he is. The concept is related to humiliation or submission and sometimes sissification.

Hotwifing is similar, but psychologically different. The male is not aroused by betrayal or infidelity, but by the idea that his wife is so hot.

Competition is a key driver of testosterone in males. We all know men get even more horny for a partner when other guys are sniffing around, and this is no different. When the hotwife returns to her main lover, he is harder than ever.

Read: Why Do Some Men Share Their Wives?

Example of a Hotwife Relationship

In a Kinky Confession, a reader named Mark tells us about his hotwife lifestyle.

“I’ve been married twelve years to a beautiful woman sixteen years younger. For several years we played with hotwifing fantasies before we became secure enough with the idea to make it a reality with a mutual guy friend who had just been through a divorce and was horny for my wife. That went on for about a year and ended. But she was hooked.

Now I’m allowing her to date married men she meets online. Our games last three months at a time. She’s allowed to date anyone she likes and meet for sex up to three times. She’s asking me to increase the number of encounters and allow her a longer game in which she creates a stable of five or six favorites.

She’s very relaxed and happy when she gets it often from outside lovers, and she’s become quite content with several outside relationships at once, which I prefer, because she’s in control and no one guy is able to manipulate her because of her need for a regular release others. Our sex life has become much better too, since she is constantly gathering erotic energy through encounters she has with her lovers. It’s win-win for both of us.” – Mark

Thank you Mark for sharing this delicious story with us! It’s wonderful that you are able to enjoy the benefits of both of your fantasies and fulfill your needs and desires in kinky ways.

Mark’s story highlights the insane hotness of the hotwife lifestyle but also shows other horny men and women a few key details that can help all of us.

First of all, he shares the gradual transformation of fantasy to reality as they built up trust and communication as partners. Hotwifing or cuckolding or polyamory scenes always work best for couples (or singles, throuples, and polycules) when built on the very security and intimacy he mentions. Lovers can grow closer and more secure together sexually by sharing fantasies and ultimately, indulging them.

By being open to the possibilities rather than threatened by them, a hotwife relationship can grow closer and more sexually satisfying than we can even dream.

He also fielded potential threats or anxieties by finding solutions to those problems. Troubleshooting and brainstorming work just as well in the erotic department as it can in business, city planning, law, etc.

Mark’s concerns about outside manipulations or losing touch as a couple have been mitigated by the boundaries they’ve set—in terms of an agreed upon number of encounters, dating men who are attached, and recognizing that her erotic satisfaction ultimately pays off for your sex life with each other too.

Read: Why It’s Hot to Watch Your Lover with Other Men

How to Find a Hotwife

To learn more about where you can get involved in hotwifing or find a hotwife of your own, see our article:

Hotwife Dating Sites for Couples and Bulls

If the hotwife lifestyle is something you want to try out, keep Mark’s kinky confession handy for how to do it right!

Kinky Confessions is a regular post on Kink Lovers. We want readers to share their tantalizing tales of kink, fetish, and fantasy. SUBMIT YOUR STORY HERE! These stories don’t have to be real—they can be fiction that you’d like turned into reality.

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Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

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