What should you wear to a fetish party?
The sky is the limit at most fetish parties, so have fun and let your imagination roam wild. Enjoy the dress-up aspect: fetish festivals and kinky dance parties and beyond are opportunities to experiment, explore, and flaunt your inner alpha or your slutty alter ego.
While it’s natural to feel a bit of anxiety over what to wear to a fetish event, once you get going, you see the occasions as opportunities to try on different selves or reflect your truest and best expressions.
Dressing up for a kinky party is a kind of cosplay or acting, where you can try on different personalities and characters that resonate with you. But for many of us, these selves are actually more truthful about who we really are than our daily office outfit, hospital scrubs, or chain restaurant uniform.
Read: Fetish Clubs and Parties: 10 Types of Events
5 Considerations for What to Wear to Fetish Night
1. Always Check Out the Dress Code
Every fetish party or kink night has its own flavor and expectations. Some are nearly naked and some are strict leather only and some are very relaxed on the kink part and a pair of fishnets or something black will be enough for entry.
Other fetish parties expect you to dress the part of a particular kind of kink. Some are looking for super casual party animals and others are almost black tie affairs and expect you in your finest.
Read: Clothing Fetish: Fabric, Clothing, and Costume Kinks
2. Know What You Want Out of the Event
Not every fetish party is the same, and you are not always looking for the same thing.
Are you hoping to explore a new kink and want to reflect that aesthetic? Are you looking to hook up with others for a scene? Do you want to connect with like-minded individuals? Do you want to dance all night, and prioritize comfortable footwear? Are you just hoping to get out of the house for a couple fun hours with friends who know who you really are? Are you showing off your new submissive to your peers?
What you wear to a fetish party will be at least partly influenced by what your objectives are for the event, as well as by the nature of that specific kink party.
Read: How to Meet Kinky People
3. Consider How Much You Are Willing or Able to Spend
A trip to Berlin for a fantastic fetish festival can be an amazing ritual and budgeting a new wardrobe and outfit planning is an epic event for the big stuff.
But generally speaking, your budget influences what you wear to a fetish night event. Whether you shop for a shiny new latex catsuit or recycle the leather chaps you always wear, you can look great and have fun.
Read: Household BDSM Props and Pervertables
4. Remember There Is Something for Everyone
Of course what you wear to a fetish party is meant to attract, entice, and show off the goods. Kink events are about expressing your sexuality. But so are most nightclub events. They are also about meeting friends, having fun, and letting off steam.
Don’t compare your outfits, body, age, or bank account to everyone else before you even get out the door. The kink community is truly a haven for everyone and every type.
Read: 8 Tips to Find Your Kink Community
5. Consider Comfort and Safety
Wearing a giant animal body suit might work wonders for an outdoor winter dance party, but at a kinky rave in Mexico that could be dangerous for overheating and dehydration. Of course you want to wear those heel-less stilettos, but you can barely walk in them at home, never mind for the duration of a parade.
Be flexible and practical when thinking about what to wear to a kink party.
14 Ideas for Outfits to Wear to Fetish Night
1. Your Sunday Best
Dress up in your designer little black dress or the most luxurious threads you have. Wearing your finest fashions means you’re almost there—just add something edgy and kinky. For example, wear your latex corset under your blazer, or sky high heels with your dress.
Read: Shoe Fetish and Ways to Play with Refitism
2. Thrift Store Finds
Think thrift to get creative. You might find a witch dress on clearance after Halloween that presents perfectly with your red spiky boots. Your girlfriend might find your favorite suit in her size, to enjoy body swapping fantasies. You might find a Mad Men treasure trove of pencil skirts and suspenders.
3. Body Paint
I saw a beautiful young girl dressed to the nines for a kink party wearing nothing at all but high-heeled pumps, a black thong, and body paint to cover herself with chains and thorns. She confessed that she was a broke college student and had to use her imagination to come up with a bona fide fetish outfit.
4. Leather Forever
Leather is a staple wardrobe item when thinking about what to wear to a fetish party. Leather goes anywhere and everywhere, always.
Read: Leather Fetish Explained
5. Stockings
Stockings add sex to any dress. Whether torn fishnets or classy Cubans with the seam up the back or 20s style lingerie with garters, you can bring any style or era to life at fetish party.
Read: Stocking Fetish: 6 Types of Stocking Kinks
6. Red or Black
Canary yellow might be a standout selection in latex, and I’ve seen pure white wonders when it comes to fetish outfits, but black and red are always classic BDSM options.
7. Corsets
Rock your corset collection when getting dressed for a fetish party. You can wear them under your outfit, or the corset might be the outfit!
Read: Dominatrix Outfit and Femdom Clothing Ideas
8. Harnesses, Cuffs, Chains, Collars
Note that collars in particular have a long ritual symbolism for many pioneer BDSM people. While we see all kinds of cute collars or spiked collars on display at fetish events, consider the event and who’s going. For many the collar is a commitment symbol or signal and not just an accessory.
Read: 9 Types of BDSM Collars
9. Medical Accessories
Unless the party you’re dressing for is specific to leather or anything else, feel free to express all your kinks when choosing what to wear to a fetish night. You might want to dress up as a nurse, doctor, of X-ray technician. You might use medical gear as accessories.
Read: Medical Fetish and the Allure of Medical Kinks
10. Shoe Heaven
Foot fetishes are extremely common, and most fetish nights are a bonanza for those who love looking at feet. I saw a submissive performing a kind of predicament bondage in ballet shoes, walking on pointe for part of the evening. Vintage go-go boots, motorcycle boots, and stilettos are always great options.
Read: Shoe Worship: How to Worship Her Shoes
11. Great Gatsby
If you haven’t yet invested in a BDSM wardrobe, or you’re going to the party with kinky friends, you can wear sexy clothes from another era of hedonism to come across as super stylish. 80s New York punk or Anne Rice goth clothes are also great styles when wondering what to wear to a fetish party.
Read: What Are My Kinks? 13 Ways to Find Your Kink
12. French Fetish
Old fashioned burlesque may be on the softer side, but these showgirls were bawdy rogues who dared to live by their own rules.
There was a lot of early BDSM going on in the famous French postcard semi-nude erotica, too, and many of those models were actresses and showgirls. The silk and satin lingerie, slippers, gloves, and finger wave hairstyles were delicious.
Read: Kinky BDSM Lingerie Ideas
13. Littles Attire
Once I wore a full on domination outfit, corset, boots, top ponytail—the whole nine yards—to a kink event and it turned out to be a Little party in specific. Oops! Everyone was wearing onesies and Mary Janes and big ribbons and pigtails.
Read: Age Regression & Little Space: How to Get There
14. Androgyny, Cross Dressing, Gender Bending
A super short pixie and an Annie Lennox suit. Your cuckold dressed as a diva secretary? Gender bending, gender blending, and cross dressing are classic fetish explorations.
Read: Gender Play: 12 Gender Bending Kinks and Fetishes
Interesting Things I’ve Seen People Wear to a Fetish Party
BDSM aesthetic and its fashions such as leather, bondage accessories, domination boots, corsets, and crisscross ties or laces are something of a backbone for fetish parties.
You will always see people in a wide variety of outfits that reflect classic and contemporary BDSM themes, not surprisingly. But unless a fetish event is strictly for the BDSM community or a particular BDSM fetish, kink is understood to a be a wide subject. Part of the thrill of choosing what to wear to a fetish party is knowing how many interesting expressions you will see.
Here are a few memorable fetish outfits I’ve seen over the years.
Matadors
The traditional costume of the Spanish matador is an incredible display of the tension between the masculine and feminine aesthetic. It’s almost ballet like and feminine, except it’s a total expression of dominance. Ever notice every matador has massive genital bulges?
Read: The BDSM Dom: 16 Types of Dominants in BDSM
Wild West Cowgirl
An older lesbian woman was splendid in an old west outfit. She told me about these frontierswomen as part of “herstory” but also as a bona fide fetish. She said they knew how to ride horses, hunt, drink, gamble, and shoot to kill, and many of them were sex workers.
Dolly Parton
A long time before I heard the word “bimbofication” I met a guy who routinely dressed like Dolly for different fetish events.
Read: An Introduction to the Bimbofication Fetish
Diamonds and Pearls
This dreamy, feminine, perhaps nonbinary man was naked except for endless swashbuckling ropes of rhinestones and plastic pearls. He said his fetish was for Prince in particular and for over the top, excess rococo.
Have you been to fetish parties and events? What did you wear?
Tell us what you think