We all have fantasies and desires that go beyond the old in-and-out missionary sex position. It might be something as vanilla as a foot fetish or it could be an extreme fetish that involves breath play or branding.
When your fetish or fantasy bleeds into edge play or anything that requires specific techniques, positions or safety measures, research is extremely helpful. Knowledge is power here, not in the dominant sense, but in a way that will help you and those involved enjoy your fantasy to its fullest.
How to Explore Your Fetish
1. Watch Porn Responsibly
If you already know your fetish, you can skip this step. This tip is for those of you who want to explore BDSM but haven’t found your interest yet. There’s so much kinky porn that involves every flavor of BDSM that it can be hard to know where to start.
If you’re like most of us, you’ve already fallen down the rabbit hole of porn once or twice. See what sparks for you while you’re down there, but watching responsibly means not taking anything as fact. Remember, these are paid actors for the most part, and not all amateur porn stars know what they’re doing.
2. Check Out BDSM Sites and Blogs
There are many websites and blogs like Kink Lovers where you will find information, stories, and tips from kinksters about every kind of fetish.
Dive deep and cover some distance. Read as much as you can to get a range of perspective on specific activities you want to try. Many of these sites also have forums that connect members of the BDSM community, where kinksters are more than happy to offer their advice on all kinds of fetishes and extreme kinks.
Read: BDSM Play: The BIG List of BDSM Activities
3. Explore Safely with Your Lover
If you’re already in a relationship with someone you trust and who is part of your exploration, share your knowledge with each other. Discuss your boundaries, limits, and expectations. Come up with a safe word if things go off the rails and one of you wants to stop. Always proceed with caution, when it comes to extreme kinks with a lover.
4. Join a Fetish Dating Site
This tip and the following ones are for singles out there who need a partner to engage with to enjoy their extreme fetish. It’s much easier to find a kinky play partner on a kink dating app than on a mainstream site. Yes, there are membership fees for most fetish dating sites, but you’re saving yourself a lot of time that it would normally take to bring up your dark desires.
Read: Best Fetish Dating Sites For Every Kink
5. Dial Up a Phone-Sex Worker
Want to just talk about your fantasy or fetish, not actually play it out, at least not right now? Phone sex is making a huge comeback, and what’s not to like. You can get comfortable in your PJs at home and reveal your extreme kinks and fantasies to someone who wants to hear them. This is perfect for men who are shy or insecure or just not ready to share their desires face to face. It’s the safest sex going too.
6. Hire a BDSM Specialist or Dominatrix
If you really want to cut to the chase and not only explore your wild fetish with another human, but also learn some real tips, then think about hiring a dominatrix. They’re out there, even in small cities, waiting for their next client. It’s safe. It’s discreet. It’s confidential. If you’re a dominant and your fetish is being with a submissive, there are also sex workers willing to play that part.
Read: Where to Find a Dominatrix
What’s your go-to resource for learning about extreme kinks? Please share in the comments.
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