Just the Tips

5 Tips to Get Your Kinky Back

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Has there been a dip in your kink mojo? Are you feeling like a melted puddle of vanilla ice cream, when you know your true self to be a mountain of rocky road? It’s not always easy to be in the kink zone when things in your world are upside down.

I haven’t been feeling sexy or kinky for a long time, and it sucks. As I’m going through the process of getting my kinky back, let me share what’s working for me… that might work for you!

5 Tips to Get Your Kinky Back

1. Refresh Your Dating Profile

While I’m not quite ready to throw myself back out into the online dating world to meet kinky partners, I do have time to update my profile. It’s been a while! If you’re like me, you don’t do this as often as you should.

Read through your profile, instead of everyone else’s, to make sure things are fresh. Do you still want the same kind of relationship you wanted two years ago? Do you have a a new fetish to add? While you’re there, subtract and add a few new photos.

2. Give Yourself Pleasure

A good way to get your kinky, and sexy, back is to love yourself. Yes, I’m talking about masturbation. Even if you’re not really in the mood, it’s still a good idea to reach down and touch yourself every once in a while to connect to your physical side. It’s healthy and releases hormones that are good for us. Of course, if you’ll get pleasure from ordering that new pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing, do that too.

3. Go through the Motions

Don’t let your sex life lapse if you’re in a relationship. You don’t have to be feeling at your kinky best to enjoy some human touch with your partner. The longer I go without sex, the more I forget how wonderful it can be. If what you need is to get out of your head, try some role playing.

Keep sex and your kinks  in the mix to some extent until you’re feeling your true groove. Trust me, it’s a lot harder to get your kinky back the longer you go without.

4. Face Your Fears and Fantasies

Most of us have some kind of conflict with our kinky desires. We think, are they wrong? What if someone doesn’t like me once I reveal what I really want? How do I share my weird fetish? These are all natural thoughts. But the only way to crush the fears around your fantasies is to bring them to light.

Will you face rejection? You might, but the world won’t end. For best results, choose carefully and deliberately—someone you trust. If you want to at the very least try out your kinks, it’s important to own your fantasies.

5. Treat Yourself to Something New

Treating yourself might mean buying the latest greatest vibrating dildo, or it might mean trying out the new blueberry cheesecake lube samples at your local sex shop. Whether it’s a sex toy, accessory, or BDSM gear, it’s always okay to indulge.

Maybe treating involves hiring a sex worker to finally make a fantasy come true that you haven’t been able to because you’ve yet to meet a kink compatible lover. Maybe buy tickets to an upcoming kink event for you and a partner. Think big, think new, and just do it!

What helps you get your kinky back? Please share with Kink Lovers now!

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Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

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