Just the Tips

Domination Lite for BDSM Newbies

Submissive Woman on Leash

Are you and your partner interested in trying power-exchange role plays, but don’t want to invest in a ton of specialized equipment? I get it. The kink lifestyle can get expensive. Plus, I’m sure you want to ease into it first, just to see if it really is all that it’s cracked up to be. Thankfully there are ways you can experiment without breaking the bank, or your sub’s backside!

4 Ways to Practice Light Domination

1. Spanking

Spanking is a great way to ease into S&M power-exchange role playing. Start with an open hand and move on to a paddle, or some other broad-surfaced object if you and your partner desire. Set the mood with a sexy scenario like, boss-employee, teacher-student, or doctor-patient.

There are tons of role play options that feature elements of dominance and submission, so use your imagination to choose one that works for the two of you. Just don’t forget to set up a system of punishment and reward!

2. Tickling

Tickling can be fun and playful, but it can also be an effective display of dominance. Test your partner’s limits and establish boundaries first. Use a feather duster, or some other instrument of tickle torture.

Begin by asking your sub to close their eyes, then tease and tickle them until they can’t take it anymore. Progress to a blindfold when the time is right, then to light bondage if you dare. Be sure to allow for some movement of their arms or legs, as your sub might be too out of breath to say the safe word, and thus need to resort to a physical signal.

3. Biting

Biting is hot on its own, but it’s also the perfect way to ease into more hardcore things, like nipple clamps. Test the waters with a light nibble, increasing the pressure as your partner’s threshold allows. One advantage of using your teeth over other pressure-exerting instruments is that you can easily gauge the amount of force you’re using. Plus, there’s something so sexy and primordial about sinking your teeth into a partner’s flesh.

Biting can really heighten the passion, especially when it comes from a place of pure lust.

4. Gentle Bondage

Bondage is certainly an effective way to exert dominance over a sub, but if you’re just starting out down the kink road, chains, shackles, and handcuffs might feel a bit intimidating. Try a tie or scarf, and don’t knot it so tightly that you can’t release it in a hurry. Also be sure to keep things loose enough that your partner’s circulation isn’t restricted.

At the end of the day, power-exchange role play should be fun for all involved. Take some time after your play sessions to check in with one another. There’s no need to rush, just build up your kinky connection slowly, and over time. And if you liked these ideas and want to try more, see these suggestions for light BDSM over at Bustle.

Don’t have a play partner yet? Looking for others into domination? See our list of the best BDSM dating sites to meet local submissives and domainants.

What kind of domination lite do you engage in? Leave a comment!

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