Rough sex is for those into hardcore sexual intimacy and intense sexual connection.
Rough sex may leave some bruises, some soreness. But that’s what the fuck you want, is it not? Yes, this is what we came for—to be rough with each other, and also to remember our safeword that puts this rough sex fun on hold when necessary.
What Is Rough Sex?
Generally, rough sex is any sex that involves hard penetration, aggressive kissing, intense foreplay, pushing, kicking, wrestling, holding, choking, grabbing, biting, scratching, punching, and fucking that isn’t gentle.
Rough sex still delivers pleasure because some pleasure is delivered through pain, depending on the body and the brain on the receiving end of the beautiful brutality.
Why Do People Like Rough Sex?
People like rough sex because you can express a darker, dirtier, deeper side of yourself, and possibly meet the darker side of the partner you met at the bar or the book club. Through rough sex, you can really find out what kind of sexy things a person is into, that they don’t necessarily tell everyone because not everyone’s hardcore kinks are compatible with everyone else’s.
Read:Â What If Your Kinks Aren’t Compatible?
People like rough sex also because it feels more impactful, it allows other energy to be expressed. It can sometimes be the only way some people get off, a nice change from always being gentle. Rough sex can take you places nothing else in life does and is not always something that can be expressed in words.
10 Ways to Have Rough Sex
1. Tear Off Each Other’s Clothes
Unless they are cheap clothes that don’t matter, then don’t literally tear your partner’s clothes off. But you CAN forcefully, aggressively, chaotically undress your partner… possibly before you even get close to the bed! Rush it. Don’t wait. Don’t do it slowly and sensually. Undress them in seconds.
Undressing Tips for Kinky Foreplay
2. Kiss Deeply
This might cause some saliva to cover your face a bit. But during rough sex, you shouldn’t give a fuck about that. Kiss with all your mouth. Use your tongue. Kiss deeply and roughly. Nibble and bite. Graze and scrape their neck and ear. Bite their ear, dammit! Kiss like it’s your last kiss ever. Go hard.
Read:Â 4 Kinds of Kissing For Kinky Couples
3. Pull Your Lover’s Hair
Grab the hair at the BASE of their skull, first. That’s the safest way to pull hair during rough sex. Some people like to have their hair pulled by the tips and not by the roots, but find out slowly and surely if they are able to take the “pull by the reins” kind of literal horse-play rough sex.
4. Nibble and Bite
You can throw in other mouth fun like biting and nibbling. Do it all over their neck—it’s very sensitive there. Bite the earlobe, nibble the neck, bite their hair if you feel freaky enough. Bite their shoulders and nibble their back. Surprise them with where you bite!
Read:Â My Lover Has a Vampire Fetish
5. Pin Your Partner Down
This is something that goes well with tearing off clothes. Pin your partner to the wall, pin your partner to the bed, pin your partner to the ground if you are fucking them on the floor! Don’t use too much pressure, but hold them firmly so they don’t move.
6. Thrust Hard
This is generally reserved for penis owners and tops, but even bottoms and vulva owners can ride and grind and fuck with reckless abandon until they are out of breath. Thrusting hard is basically the core of rough sex, and you should be fucking like bunny rabbits on MDMA.
7. Spanking and Slapping
Also a great addition to thrusting real hard and giving it your all to their genital area, spanking and slapping adds extra energy to the fucking and heavy impact. Rough sex gets even more intense with some good ass slapping! How red of a bruise can you leave on their ass?
Read: 6 Erotic Spanking Positions
8. Add Dirty Talk
If you feel shy about excessive dirty talk, just describe all the things you have done so far. “You like that spanking I did to your ass?” “You like how hard I thrust in your pussy?” “Take more of this hair pulling, I’m gonna bite you while I do it!” Get creative, have fun. Talk shit. Be confident.
Read:Â Talking Dirty And Knowing What To Say
9. Fisting
Fisting is only for the advanced folks who are ready and willing and able. Start with lots of lube, then go from one finger to two, to three then four, and then using a whole fist—kind of shaped into a hand scoop more than a fist, to make it more narrow and phallic, before going full Rocky-fist punch in the pussy!
Read:Â Fisting: What You Need to Know
10. Explore BDSM
Also for the advanced rough sex participant, this requires a clear boundary setting conversation before any role play or impact toys are pulled out. But BDSM is right there for everyone to explore and experience as much as they want. Try out a flogger, do some Kinbaku, chain up your lover!
Read:Â Impact Play Tips for Kinky Couples
3 Rough Sex Positions
1. Doggy Style
Doggy sex position is great for rough sex because there isn’t much possibility for romantic kissing or eye contact, just grab those hips and smash that erection directly into the pussy as fast and furiously as you can, want, and desire!
There is excellent access to the G-spot for many women in doggy style, so this gets off lots of women better than most positions. And when its rough, there can be lots of hair pulling too, which can increase the intensity of orgasmic impact and penetrative depth.
Read:Â Doggy Style Sex Dos and Don’ts
2. Facesitting
Force oral sex by straddling your partner’s face, and go to town just grinding your genitals into their mouth. Get tongue fucked deeply, get sucked like a vacuum, get your clit directly sucked and drilled into a soft yet hard surface, with the mouth and skull directly beneath.
Facesitting can be extremely aggressive and requires some breathing space, but can get SO hot. Facesitting is better executed with pussy on top, but it’s not like balls can’t be used for a good facesitting session… or facefucking!
Read:Â The Fine Art of Facesitting
3. Up Against the Wall
Ever seen Fatal Attraction? There’s a hot-ass, up-against-the wall scene in that movie that you can use for inspiration if you need. Just tear their clothes off as soon as you get in the door, and force their face into the wall (but don’t hurt them), and yank down their undergarments.
Pinning them to the wall, proceed to rub, grind, and thrust yourself into their bottom and pussy parts, bite their ears, lick their neck, and talk dirty before you fuck them silly deep and intensely up against that wall. Use all the lessons you read above, and fuck them into oblivion. End on the floor.
How to Ask Your Partner for Rough Sex
Don’t wait until you feel horny for rough sex! Talk about it before you try it, for god’s sake. Ask what things they are NOT into first. Ask what words and actions you can NOT say or do—far more important than how hard they like their hair pulled and whatnot.
Ask your partner if they are into rough sex, first and foremost. Not everyone is. Accept it, and don’t make a partner go rough if you are the only one into it. Ask them how often they like it rough. Ask them what they need AFTER a rough sex session. Ask them if they are into the extras like BDSM and sex toys. Have all these questions clearly answered before you go wild.
Read: What Is BDSM Aftercare All About?
Rough Sex Safety Tips
Ask for consent before you start, and set up some safeword boundaries like yellow for slow down and red for stop.
Use lots and lots of lube during rough sex sessions.
Check in with your partner from time to time by watching how their body reacts to spanking and roughhousing. Are they resisting it or leaning in for more? Are they saying yes yes yes, or are they groaning in discomfort? Tune your ears and body to receive these signals and responses.
Don’t break the spell of the scene, but turn the rough shit into a check-in. “Do you think you deserve more of this good-ass rough fucking?” If they scream YES, then keep going. Communicate in a kinky-ass dominant way—be rough but fair about it, and you will be the fucking master of the universe in the bedroom. Break a bed!
Read:Â Primal Play: 8 Ideas for Primal Sex
Have fun,
Adhimu “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart
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