Some of us are born kinky, while others experiment with BDSM at certain times in their lives or with specific partners. Whether fetish is a defining orientation of your sexuality or an adventure you enjoy from time to time, BDSM can improve your sex.
How BDSM Can Improve Sex
Deeper Intimacy and Trust is Established
Giving a lover permission to hold our pain and pleasure makes us extremely vulnerable, and is one of the most intimate connections possible. The emotional and physical exchanges, and relationships we foster through BDSM play, are among the most intense experiences available to us in human sexuality.
Partners Gain Confidence
Acting out various dramas and personalities, taking on new selves or facets, shedding our daily skin to become our fantasy lover, taking charge or letting go—all contribute to building our sexual and innate confidence.
Domination and Submission are Natural in Sexual Relationships
Yes, we are all equal, and that’s exactly how it should be at the office, in politics, religion, and other personal and community affairs. But sex is also about human beings as animals, and the best sex doesn’t pretend to be politically correct or ask permission for what the aroused body and mind finds hot.
Maximizing the dynamics of seduction, pleasure and pain, the power and possession that we see in animal mating can lead to some of the hottest sex we have.
Ritual Is Important to the Human Experience
Human is not solely flesh and blood—our spirit has always found enrichment and pleasure in imagination and performance. Combining our animal roles with our human creativity to experience ritual, play, re-enactment and magic all work to make sex dynamite.
The dress-up, role play, paraphernalia, traditions, anticipation, and rules that we use between partners and group lovers in BDSM are a form of ritual that heightens our sensation through intelligence, craft, and creativity.
Psychologists say that through BDSM—by allowing space for or voicing the emotional dramas, light and dark, that are embedded in our psyche—we can overcome repression or heal trauma.
Variety Really Is the Spice of Life
BDSM and related kinks are an endless playground of possibilities. As with any kind of practice, our sex lives often become routine, or we fall into a rut and a certain way of doing things. BDSM keeps our imaginations flowing, and offers endless potential for pleasure, positions, outfits, dialogue and more.
The more variety we have in sex, whether with our tried and true monogamous partner or with an array of lovers, the better life is. Sex and pleasure are good for us, so keeping it as a central priority is a key to greater physical and psychological health. Switching it up for variety means never getting bored.
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