Exploring our sexual fantasies can be exhilarating and exciting, and put us in closer contact with our deepest nature and like-minded lovers. That’s the amazing thing about kink—it connects our imagination with our sex life, and there’s always room to expand.
On the other hand, there are lots of sexual fantasies that will never be realized. Maybe they’re impossible—a celebrity crush, fucking on Mars, or making love to the Taj Mahal.
A third category altogether is the fantasy that we understand as fantasy, and enjoy on its own terms. Sometimes making a fantasy come true is just what it takes to ruin it!
Have you tried out a fantasy in real life that was way better in your mind? Explored a kink that did nothing for you, but still works in your imagination?
Here are some lovers who tell all about their fantasy gone wrong!
When Reality Doesn’t Live Up to the Fantasy
“Nothing makes my dick pound like the thought of getting paddled by a demanding vixen. Getting a good spanking finds its way into my mind every time I jerk off. The first time I was spanked was ho hum, and I kept meeting women off spanking dating sites for years. The feeling was almost boring, nothing like in my mind. It was totally neutral, and felt ridiculous. Nothing like the rush I got when I imagined it. I love being dominated, and I like it rough, but when it comes to spanking, it’s the thought that counts.” – Tom, 31
“I’ve always been turned on by the idea of wife swapping and then my wife was into the hotwife fantasy, too, so I thought I had struck gold. Only it wasn’t hot at all—it felt sleazy. We enjoyed threesomes and voyeurism and so on, but sending her out to do it alone didn’t work for us. The fantasy was so hot, but there was no thrill in it for real at all. Thankfully we got back on track, and we dirty talk about men taking her. But if we do it for real, I’m there too.” – Mikhail, 28
Read: What to Do When Your Lover Won’t Indulge Your Fantasies
“When I was young, nothing made me hornier than the idea of getting a quick blow job in a sleazy motel from a willing hooker. I’d seen so many movies and was really turned on by the seamy side of a hotel hookup —the taboo. I tried it once, but it was clinical and about as erotic as going to the dentist. I couldn’t even get hard. I paid her twice as much as she asked and apologized.” – T. R., 49
“I have an active fantasy life and love playing out all kinds of scenarios, very versatile, top and bottom, BDSM, all of it. It was a long-time dream of mine to make love to a woman, and I went as far as to think I was bisexual, not just curious. But after a few flings with gorgeous females, I realized this particular fantasy was all in my head. Women are sexy, but having sex with them is just not something I am wired for.” – Annalise, 25
“I was so turned on by the idea of being a plaything for a horny cougar that I spent months online trying to meet an older woman who was attracted to me and wanted to use me for kinky sex. When my dream finally came true, there was nothing exciting about it. I was disappointed. It’s still the kind of porn I watch a lot, but real-life translation was me being awkward and not really turned on.” – Oliver, 23
Still convinced you’d like to live out your fantasy, but don’t have a partner? See our Kinky Dating Guide to find partners who share your kinks.
Did you have a fantasy that fizzled? Please share your story in the comments!
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