BDSM Dating

Tips for BDSM Beginners

Couple Engaged in Role Play

There are so many avenues to take when entering the world of kink and BDSM, depending how deep you want to go.

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Let me share some basic tips to help you begin your journey.

Talk about what you want and expect. You need to get a read on the person you’re getting into this with. How responsible are they? How experienced are they? It is way better to begin experimenting with people you love and trust than with strangers. It could literally mean your life!

Discuss limits and start slowly. It might kill the joy a little, but in the long run it’s better if everybody is on the same page about how it’s going to go. If you’re going to be paddled or whipped, or if you are paddling or whipping, begin with light taps and work your way up.

Establish safe words and subspace. It’s important to know how to make things stop immediately if need be. Safe words need to be agreed upon and respected. If you don’t know what subspace is, and you’re interested in a d/s relationship, do the research.

Have a notion of first aid. If you’re into bondage, make sure that whatever gear that you have a person tied up in can be undone safely and quickly. If you need to cut the ropes, it will be easier if you have that cutting object close by and accessible in advance… just in case. Learning basic knots that can be pulled loose is best.

Do your homework. Look into practices that you find sexy and kinky. See how other people do it, and what their methods are. Everything will be smoother, safer, and more immersive when you have a grasp on the basics of any BDSM activity before you begin.

Let somebody know where you are. There are always risks involved when it comes to online dating, so having a close friend who knows where you are and when you are expected back is a good idea. I recommend meeting online hookups several times in public to discuss boundaries and such before any private sessions.

Don’t be shy. These are your desires, your fetishes, fantasies, and kinks. If you want to explore these, you will have to open up and trust the other person who wants to help you get there.

What valuable advice were you given at the beginning of your journey? Please share in the comments!

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