BDSM Dating

What a Submissive Wants

Being a dominant may sound easy if that’s your natural personality inside and outside of the bedroom, or you may think what a submissive wants isn’t important, but a submissive’s wishlist must be met for this type of relationship to thrive, especially in a more intense sub-dom lifestyle. Subs will give their all if a dominant plays their part.

1. Consequences
A submissive wants to know when they disobey that specific consequence will follow. Sometimes in a long-term dom-sub relationship where a deep love has developed, a dom may become lax in punishment and the sub will become despondent as a result. It is not necessarily about enjoying the punishment as a dom does, but about moving past a crux in the relationship.

2. Control
Subs want a dominant that is in control of their own life, temper, habits, and emotions. If they aren’t, how can they control a willing submissive. Wannabe doms will be sniffed out and let loose. Training a submissive is part of the dom’s role.

3. Experience
Submissives need to feel safe, and they will with a dom that has experience with various techniques and toys.  Beginner dominants who are committed to their role should seek training with a mentor. Local BDSM munch clubs are a great place to look. A sub needs to feel safe and cared for, punishment aside. Unintentional pain is not acceptable.

Many subs want to be more than a plaything. They want a committed dom-sub relationship where they can grow and understand one another’s psyche. Submissives want to know their dominant takes their needs seriously – will view them as individuals and respond to their own intimate needs. Subs don’t want to be seen as weak or desperate.

5. Responsibility
Submissives want a dominant to be responsible for their emotional well being as well as their physical safety. If the submissive is a slave or pet then the dominant must also be responsible for their shelter, food, and clothing.

Dominants: Are you meeting your subs’ needs?

Tell us what you think!

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
kink lovers logo
Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

Join over 6,000 readers who receive the Kink Lovers newsletter every two weeks.

Let's be friends.

All Kink Lovers articles are shared to Facebook and Twitter. Keep the the kinky content flowing your way by following along on your favorite social network.

Kink Lovers on Facebook Kink Lovers on Twitter

Copyright © 2022