How to Explore Kink and BDSM in Private

Almost everyone you know has kinks and fetishes that they practice behind closed doors.

And you almost never can tell because most of us keep our kinks on the down-low.

Practicing BDSM privately is a must for many people. You don’t want your co-workers to know you dress up in lacy lingerie and dance around the house in stilettos, do you? And you probably don’t want your gym buddies to know you like getting pegged by the juice bar lady every other Thursday.

So how can you practice BDSM discreetly? Here are some ways that you can still get your kink on, but with maximum privacy.

How to Practice BDSM with Privacy

Shop for Sex Toys Online

You might be tempted to shop at your local sex club, but there’s always a chance you may run into your sister-in-law in the dildo aisle. Browsing for toys is a lot easier online, and you’ll find more variety. To help you find the right thing, read reviews and ask your lover what they think before ordering.

Read: Buying Sex Toys for Your New Girlfriend

Draw the Curtains and Play the Music

When you live in an apartment and don’t have a lot of privacy in that regard, make sure your blinds are drawn, so the tenant across the skyline isn’t able to see in with their binoculars! If I know something where yelps of pleasure may occur, like spanking, I will usually put on some music to help drown out the sound.

Let Loose when You’re Away from Home

There’s something about sex on vacation that is so freeing. It can be anonymous because a one-night stand need not involve last names.

And with lowered inhibitions, stranger sex has a higher chance of being down and dirty, and kinky! You never need to worry about seeing the person again, so you can share your wildest fantasies with less risk of fallout.

Just be safe—use condoms and let a friend know where you are.

Read: BDSM Travel Guide: Plan a Kinky Vacation

Pay a Sex Worker

The more taboo or dangerous your kink is, the harder it’s going to be able to find compatible partners. Sew workers are not only able to indulge “out-there” kinks, but you can be assured complete discretion. Some couples with open relationships use a sex worker to fulfill individual kinks that their partner is just not that into.

Read: Should You Hire a Sex Worker

Find Play Partners Outside Your Area

When you are looking online to meet partners for a serious relationship, you usually limit the area where you are looking because you want to date someone who lives close to you. But when it’s something specific, let’s say you want to explore primal kinks or humiliation play, you may want to find play partners that aren’t too close to home. Distance ensures more discretion.

Read: How to Find a BDSM Partner

Keep the Details to Yourself

Juicy stories about one’s sexual escapades can be tempting to share, but these kinds of stories can spread like wildfire.

You first tell a colleague after a few drinks at the bar, and the next thing you know the women down the hall are whispering while checking out your butt as you walk by. They’re trying to imagine you getting pegged with a collar around your neck!

Read: Tips for Sharing Tales of Your Sexy Adventures

Play Online Only

Meeting sexy women online doesn’t have to go beyond the screen. I’ve had a few online lovers over the last couple of years to fill the gaps between actual partners. It’s the safest sex out there.

Whether it’s just sharing fetishes like mutual masturbation, dirty talk, solo BDSM, voyeurism, or role play, there are a lot of kinks that don’t require you to be in person.

Look for online dating sites that have video features that allow sexy back and forth communication.

Read: Best BDSM Dating Sites

How do you maintain privacy when it comes to your kinks?