Just the Tips

Kinky and Single? 5 Ways to Have Fun

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I’ve spent long stretches in long-term relationships that stifled my sexuality and often ended with a nonexistent sex life. What I learned after was to enjoy the kinky single life. It can be a great time for exploring different types of kinks, as well as various lifestyles like polyamory.

Do I like sex? Yes, and I have kinks and fantasies just like everyone else. What I don’t go without when I’m single is the satisfaction of meeting my sexual needs. And masturbation is but one of those ways to “make do” when alone. Let me share my top tip sheet with all you kinky and single folks out there.

Tips for Kinky Singles Looking for Fun

1. Explore new toys solo.

Is it weird to own a strap-on that you’ve never used? I don’t think so. I’ve always wanted to peg a boyfriend, and I know that fantasy will become a reality one day.

I try mine on and check myself out in front of the mirror. It turns me on so much, I always end up masturbating. If you have a fantasy that involves BDSM gear or sex toys, don’t be afraid to buy it before you need it—it’s half the fun!

2. Learn to love no-strings-attached sex.

Being single doesn’t mean you have to go without sex. Some of the best sex I’ve had has been when I’m flying solo.

There’s a certain inhibition that comes with knowing you never have to see the naked person in front of you ever again if you don’t want to. Hookup culture has been one of the most liberating movements for women who are not interested in settling down but still want to get their groove on.

Read: How to Find BDSM Hookups Online

3. Take the poly path.

I’ve learned a lot from my friends who live the polyamorous life. Some are in committed polycules while others enjoy multiple sexual relationships with many different partners. It’s a spectrum that you can explore.

Maybe you want to join a couple for a threesome. Maybe you want to hook up with a woman who is living the hotwifing lifestyle. Or maybe you want to have sex with a woman while her partner watches because that’s their thing.

Read: Why Polyamory Works for Kinky People

4. Talk to sex workers online.

For kinky singles who don’t have the energy to go out to look for someone to go home with, or if browsing hundreds of kinky dating site profiles seems overwhelming, there is nothing wrong with paying a few bucks to talk to a sexy stranger on your phone or over a video chat platform.

When you pay for a service like this, you can have some of your kinky fantasies fulfilled, which is never a guarantee with new hookups.

5. Watch burlesque performances.

You may not live somewhere that has regular burlesque performances if at all, but you can buy tickets to these online and jerk off on your couch while watching.

You’ll see performers who are trained dancers, sometimes acrobats, and who are different sizes and shapes and colors to satisfy many tastes. I also find more shows than ever incorporate BDSM elements, catering to kinky singles like us. I would love to perform myself one day, and there are burlesque classes in my city, so who knows!

Want more ideas for kinky singles? Read: How to Explore Kinks when You’re Single

How do you satisfy your kinks while single? Dare to share in the comments?

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Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

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