Just the Tips

Roleplaying Tips for BDSM Beginners

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Many of our Kink Lovers fantasize about roleplaying with their partner or someone new. It’s a popular kink for both men and women and perfect for BDSM beginners who aren’t into things like sadomasochism or humiliation play.

As someone who has tried all kinds of role play scenes with many different lovers, I will share some tips that will help you get started.

Tips for Roleplaying Beginners

Engage with someone you trust.

Like all kinky fun, it’s important to play with someone you trust implicitly. You want a lover who you can feel comfortable with even if things get awkward.

Know what you want to act out.

Do you have a certain fantasy that you’d like to try. Think about what scenario turns you on the most. You might want to act out something you’ve seen in porn, like the dom boss/submissive employee or the strict teacher/naughty student routine.

Choose a role that suits you.

It doesn’t matter if you are dominant outside of the bedroom, if your fantasy is to be submissive, then that’s what you want to play.

Discuss boundaries and limits before.

You don’t have to do this right before you role play, as it might dampen the mood. You can bring this up whenever is comfortable between you and your lover.

Keep it simple at first.

My first intro to role playing was very spontaneous and didn’t involve any toys, costumes, or accessories. Try just talking the part without too much else to start. Once you’re comfortable “acting” you can add props.

Be creative.

With the right partner, the sky’s the limit for roleplaying. One time, I called a lover before he came over and laid out an entire scene for him. It was a hot little surprise and he walked in completely in character.

Try role reversals.

One thing I love about roleplaying is switching up the dom-sub positions. My natural tendency is to play the submissive, but acting out of character is a fun challenge and keeps things fresh.

Play safe.

You should always be able to stop a scene for any reason. If you’re not ready to be tied up and spanked, don’t just do it to please a partner. When you’re just starting to explore BDSM, it’s important to slow your kink roll when necessary.

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Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

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