Have you ever met a woman who was too kinky for you? You dated for a while, then she wanted you to play doctor which you thought was hot, until she brought out a proper scalpel. Or maybe your fantasy of being tied up resulted in you being left alone for hours and screaming for help to an unsuspecting neighbor.
We see the movie version of Kinks Gone Bad all the time and not only do these happen in real life, they happen a lot in scenarios you would never want to imagine yourself in—ever!
A friend of mine met a guy on Craigslist (remember when people used to hook up there?!?) and he was a bit odd, she said, but she was horny. Sadly, we make bad decisions sometimes when we’re sexually starved. She decided to go home with him after meeting at a coffee shop, and she soon found out his kink was to burn insects in front of her. The cruelty sent her home fast.
As exciting and useful as online dating is to meet kink compatible partners, you really never know what you’re going to get sometimes. People that harbor dark desires and out-there fantasies usually don’t list those in their bio—they want to stand a chance, right?
Here’s some kinks that have caused more than a few breakups.
Kinks that Cause Breakups
1. Autoerotic Asphyxiation and other Life Threatening Kinks
We all like to breathe, right? Well, having your pathway cut off for just a few seconds can cause a rush for some people. And a lot of people who practice this type of breath play do it solo because it definitely isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and the added risk factor of being alone can be part of the thrill.
But, you don’t just want to grab a plastic bag from the kitchen and start experimenting in front of your new girlfriend. Think hard before you bring this one out of the kink closet, and please do your research before trying anything that interferes with your breathing.
2. Blood Kinks
Most people get a little squeamish just from the sight of their own blood, let alone someone else’s. And a good deal of people will even faint when seeing blood or a needle. Because blood can carry a whole host of pathogens, some of which can cause infection or long-term illness, playing around with blood is not on the top of everyone’s kink bucket list.
3. Cruel and Unusual Punishments
Domination and submission are about power exchange and the dynamics that go along with that, and can be enjoyed with the consent of both parties. But sometimes things get out of hand. A kinky relationship on the rocks can escalate when one person takes a routine-to-the-relationship BDSM practice too far. Make sure you are on solid ground with any partner before engaging in punishment.
4. Hardcore Humiliation and Domination
Although humiliation is part of BDSM, it’s not as popular as bondage or domination and submission. Most of it happens behind closed doors, but still, I think it’s often more of a fantasy that doesn’t always come to fruition. It’s usually men who want to dominate in this fashion, and it takes a very strong confident woman to let him do it in a way that is consensual and not harmful to one’s self-esteem.
5. Reckless and Unresearched Kinks
This could involve just about any kink, but bondage and any kind of practice that involves spanking, flogging, or caning come to mind. With bondage you need to be very careful about circulation and breathing to practice it safely. And with any kink that uses an object to inflict mild to severe pain, you’ll want to know how to use the gear properly and which places on the body are no-go zones.
Many BDSM practices need to be researched or workshopped with a professional to learn safe practices. Do not use porn as your teacher.
6. Kinks with Unsafe Sex
Nobody wants an STD or STI or unwanted pregnancy from indulging in someone else’s kinky fantasy. Nothing is worth that. If you spend some time reading about sexually transmitted diseases, you likely won’t go this route if you were considering it before. Always have condoms and any other protective measures that your partner may want on hand. Safe sex doesn’t mean it can’t be kinky. In fact, there are many non-penetrative kinks that fit this bill.
Everyone’s tolerance level for BDSM practices and kinks are different, and that’s why writing a dating profile that shares your specific kinks and hard limits saves everyone a lot of time and awkward moments.
What kink or practice is a hard no and would send you packing?
Tell us what you think