Fetishes

Spanking Fetish 101: Do’s and Don’ts of Spanking

Dominatrix in Leather

Is spanking your thing? Read on for how to get started, or brush up on your spanking basics…

Spanking is one of those kinky sexual activities that is practiced by lots of couples who are into bdsm, and even by those considered “vanilla”, in moderation. Spanking can obviously go a lot further than a playful tap on the bottom, and if you’re planning on going deeper (and harder) into spanking, then there are some guidelines to follow that will ensure your submissive’s safety, not to mention pleasure.

Spanking Do’s

Start Slowly
Once in position, give that ass a nice rub. Show appreciation and get your hand acquainted with the ass you’re about to lovingly smack. Start your strokes slowly and lightly using an open hand with fingers flat together. Know that if you use separated fingers with a flat hand it is going to sting a bit more so work up to that if a little pain is part of the pleasure in this encounter.

Ask for feedback or use a safe word.
You’ve started slow which is good, but be sure to also get your partner’s feedback as you increase the intensity. Ask outright, “How does that feel? Do you like that?” If you know your partner well you can also get cues from their moans and body language as to whether you are pleasing them. You could also ask your partner to call out a safe word if the spanking goes too far beyond their comfort level.

Hit the right spot.
Avoid spanking your partner too high up on the ass. Don’t get too close to the waist or the kidneys either. If you are unsure, then aiming lower is better, focussing on the fleshiest part of the ass. Go too high up and you get into tail-bone and back territory which is less erotic, and just plain unsexy and painful.

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Spanking Don’ts

Hitting out of anger is a big no no.
If you and your partner have had an argument and you think this is a good time to add spanking to your make-up sex, think again. Spanking is a playful form of foreplay and an enjoyable part of sex but should always be done in a loving manner. In fact, it’s a good idea to give your partner some kisses or positive comments during this type of play to keep things in the right context.

Spanking to the point of injury.
All submissives will have a different pain tolerance. Even if your partner is asking for more be sure to watch out for certain signs that it’s time to stop or lighten up, such as excessive bruising and especially broken skin. For this reason it’s a good idea if you don’t practice your spanking fetish in the dark.

Don’t spank too far up!
I already mentioned this in the Do’s, but am mentioning it again. Better safe than sorry! Do NOT hit too far up on the buttocks, especially just below the waist on either side where the kidneys are. Aim your spanks more towards the lower buttocks and upper thigh area.

Stay tuned for my next post in which I’ll discuss more ways to spice up your spanking including varying sensations, implements, and positions!

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