How to Meet Women into BDSM

Some tips and advice for men who want to meet women into BDSM.

Feeling like the only masochist in town? Can’t find a girl who wants to ride you like a horse?

Trust me—you’re not alone. Here are some universal truths and tips for meeting women into BDSM. 

How to Meet Women Who Like BDSM

If you put one or more of these into practice, you’ll have a variety of kinky date options by the weekend.

1. Meet women on BDSM dating sites.

It’s easier today than ever before to find like-minded sex partners to indulge our dirtiest BDSM fantasies.

But I still meet men who complain they don’t “trust the internet” or they “can’t find someone to share a fantasy or fetish with” whether it be fat girls, feet, or a leather fetish.

Really? What about niche dating sites like  FetishHookups.com? There really is no excuse, guys.

Take a look at our favorite sites for meeting men and women into BDSM:

Best BDSM Dating Sites

2. Be more open minded about the women you meet.

People into BDSM often pride themselves on how open they are compared to everyone else, but this can be a stumbling block that gets in the way of new experiences and sexy adventures.

We have a propensity toward snobbery just like anyone, and we can be as prudish as we insist we aren’t towards those with fetishes that we don’t share.

The biggest impediment anyone—vanilla or kinky—has to dating and sex is the notion that “they’re not my type.” I get that we all have our unique thing and that we all have strong attractions to certain kinds of bodies or practices, but I also know that I’ve had some of the most interesting, arousing and intense experiences when I wasn’t expecting to.

Give people a chance, and surrender to someone different and new. Don’t assume they’re not your type after a ten-minute assessment. See where it goes. You might be surprised.

Read: Why Do Women Love BDSM?

3. Find kinky women wherever you go.

Women into BDSM are everywhere. You work with us. You play baseball with us. We sing in the church choir. We do reception for your chiropractor. We drive the city transit buses. We are librarians, nurses, engineers, cops, artists, exotic dancers, psychiatrists, plumbers, mothers and waitresses. 

If there’s a woman you find interesting in any of the places you frequent, don’t assume she’s not kinky. Ask her out.

There’s no harm in casually dating women from all walks of life—you never know what is lurking beneath the surface. She could be more into kink than you, or dying to meet someone who will help explore that side of herself.

Almost everyone has a kinky side of some sort. Aim to indulge her particular fetishes or interests, and she’ll be more open to yours.

Read: Where to Meet Kinky Women

4. Meet women in the BDSM community.

It’s a legitimate concern that the wrong people could find out what you like in bed. But hiding out completely can also limit your chances of meeting a compatible woman into BDSM play.

You don’t want to explain to your family that you like to be bound in Saran Wrap or anally fisted  through glory hole, but you also don’t want to hide and live in paranoia. Being moderately discreet is usually all that’s necessary.

If your neighbor or ex sister-in-law happens to see you at the fat-feeding competition or the annual community wife swap, chances are she’s there for the same reasons you are! Bingo!

Read: How to Find BDSM Partners Online

How do you meet women into BDSM?