Make sure you get invited to the next sex party by following these etiquette tips the first time.
The sun is shining, bodies are showing off, drinks are flowing and smoke is blowing—yes, my friends, tis The Sex Party Season!
No, it’s not Christmas, but for me and those who have the same values, a summertime sex party is… better than Christmas! The gifts and connection and sharing and cheer that comes from sex parties to me makes it the best gathering(s) of the year.
I have a go-to sex club I party at regularly. Although my intimacy experience is not equal every time I attend, it’s always a wonderful experience of friendship building, youthful play done by adults, calm moments of communication, and carnal creativity. Things happen at sex parties that obviously don’t happen at most holidays.
Just like at family gatherings, it’s not polite to stick your dick in the mashed potatoes. (I just love that crude joke. I’m an Eddie Murphy fan for life!) This is to say that there are rules and etiquette to be followed at sex parties—what you can do and what you want to do and the limits of what you can try.
It’s far better to err on the side of caution than err on the side of carelessness at a sex party. There are multiple people’s personal spaces to navigate, and even though it doesn’t have to be a super cerebral affair, there has to be at least a healthy, normal, and functional amount of emotionally intelligent conversation laid down as the foundation for the event.
Read: How to Find a Local Orgy
5 Tips for Sex Parties
Here are reminders for when you’re invited to a sex party, and you want to honor that invitation by being a good VIP sex party guest. Do all the right things to get invited back to the next sex party!
1. Get Tested
Before going to a sex party, please have the etiquette to get tested, especially if you have a week or two advance notice. That’s just being a good person who deserves hand action, ha ha. Sometimes it’s a last-minute invite, and you don’t really know your status, maybe. But then it’s definitely a must that you play as safe as humanly possible.
But still, try to get tested regularly so that even if you get a random invite, you know that you can appreciate the party to its fullest, because you just got tested last month and know you’re good.
Read: 5 Ways to Practice Safe Sex in Group Play
2. Bring Something
Unless you’re the planned centerpiece for the sex party, then please try to bring more than just your genitals. That’s actually very nice of you though, and I do NOT want to downplay the wonderful, generous, courageous choice of you bringing said genitals to the festivities. Couldn’t happen without them. But showing up with an apple pie for people to eat post sex, that’s awesome.
Bring food or drinks (people get hella thirsty, no pun intended), bring a funky outfit, bring sex supplies like condoms and lube, bring kink toys, bring anything you think will enhance the party in any way, shape, or form. That’s just good sex party etiquette!
Read: Group Sex Tips for Your First Time
3. Ask to Play
In addition to bringing something good, bring a good attitude.
Before I walk into any sex party I say a nice little prayer: “Sex Gods, may I have the courage to enjoy all the fun I’m meant to have tonight. May I avoid all the opportunities for fun that are not meant for me, and may I have the strength to know and respect the difference!”
At a BIG sex party there may be 15+ people—do NOT expect to fuck everyone! That’s nearly impossible, and it would take a miracle. You can ask all you want politely, if you really intend on trying, but it’s not the norm.
SOME people are specifically chosen to fuck, suck, or kiss everyone. I’ve been to a party where one special angel was dominantly requested to suck every dick, and I will never forget that I was dick #34 that night! And yes, every blowjob was FULLY consensual.
Read: Implied Consent or Expressed Consent
4. Communicate Mistakes
Sometimes, things get messed up at a sex party. But it’s okay if you handle it with calm control, respect, and real honesty.
Condoms break, emotions come up, people’s bodies do different things than their minds expect. All you have do is just say a FEW words, and take care of yourself. “I need a minute,” “I gotta go to the bathroom,” if not just “Hey, can you stop?”
Whatever it takes to shift things the way you want, don’t be shy to speak your personal emotional needs at a sex party. And if your instincts tell you that leaving is the best idea, for whatever reason, then do that.
Read:Â Orgy 101: An Introduction to Orgies
5. Leave the Sex Party Honorably
Before the sex party is over, please have it in your mind to be silent about it as much as everyone has mutually agreed to. The first rule of Fuck Club: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FUCK CLUB!
Read: Who Needs to Know about Your Kinky Lifestyle
It’s not cool to blab all about it on social media, so don’t be THAT person. Sometimes, you can say things tongue in cheek or with names removed. But before you even go home to reminisce fondly, make sure you leave the place as good as it was when you came to come!
Make sure you don’t hurt anyone’s body that didn’t want to be hurt, make sure you didn’t ignore anyone’s emotional needs that required your attention, and make sure you don’t leave a sex mess at the sex party! If you can at least do that, I think you might see Sex Christmas more than once a year.
Read:Â How To Find Group Sex
May you have as much fun,
Adhimu “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart
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