There are many reasons to hold off on meeting a kinky lover for the first time, in or out of your control. But that doesn’t mean you can’t share some of your fantasies and fetishes with this potential partner.
For women, it’s often an issue of safety—are you someone who we think we can trust and feel safe with moving forward. For men, it’s often about sussing out the kink compatibility. For both these reasons, online dating provides the time required for both parties. There’s no point meeting in person, if there’s zero chemistry or similar interests.
So take your time, browse your dating sites of choice, and chat online to your kink’s content.
Tips for sharing Your Kinks before You Meet
Write It in Your Profile
This is probably the best way to cut to the chase, and not waste time talking to someone who isn’t going to indulge your kinks. You just lay it out in your dating profile, and wait for interested women to message you. If you message first, she will likely go to your profile to see what’s what. And if she likes what you’re into, she’ll respond and you can begin a dialogue.
Tease through Texting
This may just be through the messaging service provided by your dating site which is similar to texting, but it’s the same flirty avenue as phone texting where you can be playful and flirty. When you can tease through texting, you can build anticipation before meeting.
Ask Her about Hers
If she hasn’t been explicit about her sexual proclivities, you can simply ask. If she’s on a niche site like those featured in our Kinky Dating Sites Guide, then she’s likely shared something sexy. Use that as a starting point, and ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation and her interest alive.
Talk the Talk
Of course, this is only recommended if there is chemistry and both parties are attracted. She may not be willing to share her phone number with a stranger, but you never know. Hearing only her voice can be very erotic, especially when you haven’t met yet. Once you feel a certain comfort level, you can even try role playing.
Share through Video
More and more people are learning to use video chat platforms to keep in touch, meet new people, and set up future dates. Some fetish dating sites even offer video-chat features that will keep your sexy times rolling. If you enjoy the idea of chatting with more than one possible lover at a time, this is can be your go-to place.
Send Her a Gift
You may want to send her a special toy that appeals to her particular kinks. Maybe she’s into nipple clamps and will do a striptease to reveal the bejeweled beauties you’ve sent. Or maybe you send a high-end vibrating dildo, so your fantasy to watch her masturbate comes true.
If you’re short on funds, simply send a link to your favorite porn scenes. Of course, ask first because not every woman, even the kinkiest among us, watches porn.
One last word of advice: if your kinks encompass a wide spectrum, share your softest or mildest ones first to test the waters.
How do you share your kinks before you meet a woman in person?
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