Impact Play Tips, Tools, and Safety

Curious about impact play and how to enjoy it with a partner?

Impact play is a wonderful way to find your boundaries of action and intensity, and see how much sweet pain and pleasure you or your sub are able to absorb.

Let’s look at the basics of impact play, and some tools and tips for getting started.

What is Impact Play?

Impact play in sex is when one person strikes their partner for the sexual satisfaction of one or both parties.

Any kind of slightly violent contact between sexual partners can be considered impact play. In fact, impact play is considered to be a form of BDSM play, which can range from vanilla to the extreme.

Here are some of the activities that qualify as impact play:

• Caning
• Cropping
• Flogging
• Paddling
• Punching
• Slapping
• Spanking
• Whipping

How to Impact Play Safely

Get Consent

There are an infinite variety of toys and tools that you can use to participate in impact play with someone, and the main boundary is THEIR consent to what you are going to use on them.

Have a clear conversation with your impact play partner about what things you are allowed to impact them with, and what you are not allowed to do.

Read: Sexual Consent and BDSM Play

Discuss Boundaries

Be sure to discuss you and your partner’s boundaries before beginning any kind of impact play.

The typical red-yellow-green system of communication should be in effect as well. This way both parties know when the sub is able to accept more painful pleasure, or when they have to slow down, or stop for now, to transition to aftercare and cuddles.

Read: Boundaries to Discuss in BDSM Relationships

Practice Safe Impact Play

You need to aim for padded fleshy areas, and not close to any vital organs like the kidneys, eyes, etc. There are ways to hurt somebody without hurting them, if you know what I mean. The last thing you want to do is injure your sub.

Read: Spanking Tips: How to Give a Spanking

Impact Play Tips

Impact Play Doesn’t Have to Be Edge Play

If it’s just a hand on a bottom, whether as a natural expression of affection during doggy-style sex or as punishment, it’s impact play. In fact, spanking might be the most popular type of impact play and is practiced by people across the vanilla-kink spectrum.

Impact play gets more into sadism and masochism when people get into switches, whips, paddles, riding crops, electric flyswatters or god knows what else. If there’s blood involved then you’ve probably crossed into the hardcore realm of edgeplay.

Read: Edge Play: Taking BDSM too Far?

Experiment with with Erotic Flagellation

Move beyond slaps and spankings, and open yourself to different impact tools and sensations. Flogging feels amazing and can work on the butt, the inner or outer thighs, the back.

People who are big on giving vocabulary to their kinks call using a single-ended switch, like a whip, “single tailing.” If there are multiple heads on the whip, like a cat o’ nine tails, it is called “flogging.” Call it what you like. If it gets you off, then it’s good.

Read: BDSM Whipping 101: 9 Whips for a Naughty Sub

Bondage and impact play go hand in hand.

Whether you’re tying someone up with scarves and tickling them with feathers, or you’ve chained someone in your dungeon to flog all night, the notion that the sub is at the mercy of the master is a big part of the thrill.

Bondage adds a new level to your impact play as the submissive is restrained and unable to move or escape their dominant’s blows. The added thrill is just as much mental as it is physical.

Read: Bondage for Beginners: How to Get Started

5 Impact Play Tools to Explore

Were you a fan of the Honeymooners? There was one thing that Ralph would say that was an accurate metaphor for what us BDSM lovers are constantly interested in and attracted to.

He’d say these words, and as much as he was implying inappropriate actions to his wife, I want to remix them and apply them to impact play. When it feels right, it gives us the feeling of the words Ralph very loudly and aggressively would say:

“Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!”

The “straight to the moon” part being, of course, the subspace we go to when we are in a state of unearthly euphoria, from having our senses battered and beaten beautifully out of us by our BDSM partner.

Let’s get into the first half of what Ralph would hilariously shout, “Bang! Zoom!” and discuss what it feels like to get hit with different impact play toys and tools.

1. Flogger

The flogger is my favorite impact play toy, by far. They come in a variety of flavors, from velvet to leather to stranger materials like rabbit fur, silicone, cowhide, cotton, deer or elk skin. Even chain! They are what used to be called “scourges” in the Middle Ages, and they are like the cat o’ nine tails multi-whip instruments used in medieval torture.

It feels SO good to experience a loving administration of a velvet flogger on the back! The different materials you can experiment with provide different sensations to the skin, and they push boundaries in various ways. It’s a great place to explore the propensity for pain and pleasure on the surface of the skin.

Read: Flogging for Beginners

2. Crop

A more hardcore pleasure-filled pain administration, the crop is the same instrument used by jockeys that smack their horses on the hips to make them run. Of course, these can be used in a sexy context, to make your partner also run to the hills, metaphorically and chemically, from the rush they feel when you smack them ever so intently on their hind parts.

The crop is usually a wooden or metal stick with a leather fold on the end, from where the impact is given. The short inches of the fold cause an intense bite to the flesh, and sometimes the pole can be used in various ways to deliver more impact. A crop is a simple impact play tool, and with a bit of research, you can make your own!

3. Cane

This is essentially a crop WITHOUT a leather nub on the end. It’s like a switch, as some might refer to this instrument of pain. It may be a natural fiber—bamboo, rattan, reed—or made from a synthetic material like lucite or fiberglass.

A cane is a very hardcore impact play tool, and it’s something I don’t mess around with often. The lack of minimizing material for the hard wooden edge is too rough for my tastes. But some people are totally into it, and have no problem taking a session of hard caning on their buttocks and thighs that can leave welts. If you like a little extra, go for it! The cane is all yours.

Read: BDSM Caning for Beginners

4. Rope

The rope is another way you can explore a loving beating and a pleasant torturing. Rope comes in all kinds of textures and materials, from twine to plastic to cotton, and it can be easily fashioned into various handheld distributors of impact.

Making a flogger out of rope is quite simple with the intention of making a handle, then doing a couple small loops with the other end of the rope, and attaching the end of the rope back to the handle. Voila! A little homemade rope flogger, and away you go, spanking on your loved one with reckless abandon. You can also drag the rope across their skin and impact them in various other unique ways. Use your imagination!

Read: Sensation Play Tips, Tools, and Ideas

5. Paddle

The paddle is an extension of the very first impact play tool: the hand. A good, firm flat hand is always a great option and usually where people start in BDSM. The paddle is not the most popular impact toy, but it’s a smart and fun option to have available to deliver solid impact play. This tool is great for over-the-knee role plays, and can be administered with a variety of power so the fun can continue for a while.

For more ideas, read: Best Spanking Tools to Use in BDSM

So yes, there’s a five-tool starter kit for your impact play happiness. One of these days, do yourself like Ralph and Alice Kramden, and BANG! ZOOM! Straight to the moon… with a flogger! Hitting the happy spots will be a honeymoon you will never forget, I promise!