Just the Tips

How to Get Out of Your Kinky Sex Rut

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Feel like you’re stuck in a sexual rut? We like what we like, but what if the same-old same-old starts to get dull?

Even the most exciting sex fetish can start to lose its luster if you’re doing it the same way every time.

The great thing about the world of kink is that it’s not one thing. It’s an unlimited playground for imaginative lovers. There is always something new to try.

5 Ways to Break Your Kink Routine

Follow these tips to get out of your sex rut and breath new life into kinky sex.

1. Change Your Mind about Sex

If you’re into a particular kink, it may have been on your mind for as long as you can remember. Let’s say it’s leather, or a foot fetish. No doubt when you’re horny or looking for a lover, you seek to meet partners who are willing to please. If you’re flying solo, you look for pictures or porn videos that cater to your taste.

That’s great, but if things are feeling a bit stale, try changing the goal of your sex and masturbation life from orgasm or shared kink, and have a new motive in mind.

“Mindfulness” may seem like a spiritual or therapeutic pursuit—not sex—but it’s a great way to switch things up and experience being present in all kinds of kinks. “Meeting new people” as a dating goal means the kind of sex that can follow will be different from “meeting like-minded fetishists.”

This is a simple way to take a new path in the bedroom. Just change your goal for a while and see what transpires.

Read: Can Your Kinks and Fetishes Change?

2. Follow Her Lead

Ask other people how they got into their kinks. Some will tell you they’ve always felt that way. Just as many will say that they were dating someone who showed them the way.

If you’re ready to try something new, the best way is to meet a lover you like and play her way for a while—see where it goes. The excitement of experiencing new paths to ecstasy with a lover will shake things up and open new doors.

Meet new kinky lovers: Kinky Dating Sites: The Kink Lovers Guide

3. Incorporate more Kinks into Your Life

Doing everything the same way over and over can start to feel robotic, but there’s no reason to give up your go-to fetish. Find ways to switch up your love life that simply involve adding new elements and experiments.

If you’re submissive, you don’t have to look for opposite roles, but ask your mistresses to show you new games. There is no reason to be limited in an unlimited kingdom of kink like BDSM.

See our big list of BDSM play for ideas and kinky inspiration!

If bondage is your thing, try a new rope art. Add games like sensation play or orgasm denial to any fetish, from feet to golden showers. Role plays can mix countless kinks in new ways.

4. Mingle with a Variety of People and Communities

Chatting online, dating, and socializing with many different kinds of people guarantees that a wide variety of interests and kink niches will naturally arise. Be open to trying things just for the fun of it.

Consider attending a BDSM munch, or joining a BDSM dating site.

5. Prioritize Your Kink Bucket List

We all have fantasies we’ve wanted to try out but never have. Meet the lover who will take you there and make it happen.

Don’t worry if the bang is a fizzle, or you and your lover end up laughing instead of really getting into it. Experimenting is just that—seeing how you respond and where your curiosity can take you.

Read: 5 Places to Find Kinky Inspiration

How do you get out of a kink rut? Please share your tips in the comments!

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Kink Lovers is the online magazine for kinky people into BDSM, fetish, and kink. If you want to explore your kinky side, spice up your love life, or meet new kinky partners - enter the world of Kink Lovers. Enjoy D/s relationship advice, kink education and resources, BDSM and kink dating tips, fetish facts, and reader confessions.

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