Just the Tips

5 Ways to Push Your BDSM Limits

BDSM play and bondage

Let’s go to BDSM Dreamville, baby! This invitation comes with a very gentle, but very large blinking neon sign: TAKE IT SLOW and BE CAREFUL!

You have your ENTIRE life to learn and explore kink and BDSM. If you don’t get tied up by the time you’re 21, it’s not too late for you! I didn’t have my first rope bondage experience until I was 35. There’s no timeline or rush for any of this stuff, and if nothing else, the slower and safer you are about it, the easier and better you will progress.

Take baby steps before you leap to the penthouse of pleasure. Once you are safe and sound in your boundaries and curiosities, you CAN do what you want to freaking do all you want… or until you reach your limit within the scene you are experiencing—cue safeword.

Read: Everything You Need to Know about Safewords

Obviously, there are times to take a water break and cool off, if not take the time to let the purple bruises and red markings heal. But once you know it’s safe to push your limits again in a super safe and sexy intimate session… why the hell not?

5 Ways to Push Your BDSM Boundaries

1. Explore Women and Men

There’s no harm or foul in keeping the same partner that you’ve always had safe, sane and consensual BDSM play with, no problemo at all! And yes, maybe you’ve been with their friend’s friend or someone else you know and trust. But have you ever let someone of another gender do them same kinky things to you?

The energetic difference can be quite notable! Sometimes it’s more similar than anyone would ever expect, and at other times it’s the exact same damn experience on a certain level… but it has to be felt to be fully understood.

2. Switch the Dynamic

There are no issues in doing those BDSM percentage charts and finding out that you are 97% top or 21% bottom or 66% brat, or any other type of kinky personality there can be. But if there’s one thing you can do on a semi-consistent basis to keep your mind ready to embrace the unorthodox, it’s to switch your BDSM position.

Read: Switching from Dominant to Submissive

Have you been barking orders the last seven sessions? Take a ball gag in your mouth and bend over a bench for a change! You only know what it’s like to bottom? Take control with a some rope and cuffs! Switching expands your mind and body’s limits every time.

3. Explore Stamina

This one might require some exercise (always a good thing) to go along with it, but try stretching your playtime. I’m not recommending hours and hours, but rather an extra half hour to start or an hour if you’re with someone you have great chemistry with.

There are days when you’ve eaten all the meals you should have including breakfast, you’ve drank your eight glasses of water, you’ve been out walking, and you feel frisky and full of fun energy—you feel like you can go for it a bit more. This is a good time to work on your BDSM stamina! Go harder!

4. Engage in Group Play

One surefire way to expand your experience is to have group play, because there are infinite dynamics to explore with other people in BDSM. And you never know who and when and what other people will bring out of their kinky ass psyches when you mix it up. I been tied up together with a man’s wife as he spanked both of our butts with his hands playfully.

Read: 15 Threesome Ideas for Kinky Threesomes

There are obviously some very important protective protocols to take before diving in, and you should all talk about boundaries before playing, for sure. Also go with your gut and make sure you stop if you are overwhelmed. But there is a world of excitement waiting in group BDSM play, and it’s not all hardcore.

5. Go Beyond with Butt Play

I have not explored the limits of my anal potential as a man, because of some dietary issues, as well as not finding the right partners to play with me there. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t done my own explorations in other anal fun. I just had my whole hand up a cute non-binary bum!

Spanking, beating, biting, poking, penetrating, flogging, lubing, rimming, fingering, plugging—there’s SO much kinky stuff you can do to a piece of ass. You won’t run out of ideas, trust me! If you do… let me know, and I’ll ask you if your domme went through all your kitchen items and made sure you got your ass beat with ten different objects like I have, ha ha!

Read: 4 Over the Knee (OTK) Spanking Roleplays

Keep exploring your limits!

xoxo,
Addi “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart

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