As the saying goes, wear your pride.
Logos, emblems, motifs, and symbols have long been used to identify people and communicate specific messages. BDSM symbols are no different.
Just as nations communicate their identity with a visually recognizable flag, or religions use various motifs to communicate ideals and concepts, and corporations use a logo, BDSM signs let other like-minded people know who you are so you can find each other.
Read: How to Meet Kinky People
BDSM signals are about hooking up with others who share your interests, specifying kink interests, or communicating welcome and acceptance and allyship.
BDSM signs share a history with other signs that were used to mark a safe space for people with traits, interests, or affiliations in common.
Just as the rainbow flag on a restaurant window signifies safety and welcome for LGBTQ2S+ people, seeing the triskelion can alert you to an environment of acceptance and tolerance.
11 Symbols and Signs of BDSM Lovers
Whether your BDSM signal is a discreet lapel pin or a screaming tattoo is up to you. But here are some BDSM symbols you should know about.
1. BDSM Emblem / Triskelion
In the 90s, Steve Quagmyr designed a BDSM symbol known widely as the triskelion. The designer owns the copyright to this exact logo, but many similar BDSM signs have bloomed from it.
It is a simple and beautiful BDSM emblem featuring three petals or sections that slightly resemble the yin yang symbol. The black three-spoked wheel was actually inspired from a description of O’s ring in the famous BDSM novel The Story of O.
The three sections hold different symbolic interpretations. One is that they stand for “safe, sane, and consensual.” Another is that they represent the three domains of BDSM: bondage and discipline; dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism.” Another holds that three identities are represented in this BDSM symbol: tops, bottoms, and switches.
The designer wanted the triskelion to be enigmatic and elusive. The emblem would hold many layers of meaning for the BDSM community but not attract attention from the vanilla world.
Read: 8 Tips to Find Your BDSM Community
2. Leather Pride Flag
The leather pride flag is a BDSM symbol featuring blue, black, and white horizontal lines and a big red heart in the upper left corner. It was designed by Tony DeBlase and presented at International Mister Leather in 1989.
The flag became adopted from wider BDSM leather lovers’ groups, though it was created with gay male leather love in mind.
The flag has been modified in many ways by different communities and individuals, including a Canadian version with red maple leaves.
Read: A Brief History of the Leather Kink
3. BDSM Rights Flag
The BDSM rights flag is a BDSM symbol combining the horizontal-striped styling and coloring of the Leather Pride Flag and a symbol similar to the BDSM triskelion.
It was designed to proclaim that those of us whose relationship or sexuality expressions include kink and fetish should not be discriminated against.
4. BDSM Collar
While many kinky lovers explore kinks and fetishes that may use a collar as some kind of restraint, and many fashion lovers wear collars to express themselves, collaring has deep and historic significance in BDSM relationships.
Wearing a collar in this context is a BDSM symbol that you are submissive and belong to your dominant.
The collar declares that you are a slave or a sub, and also that you are taken. Frequently, the symbolism is so meaningful that only the dominant or master is allowed to adjust, remove, or put the collar on.
Read: 9 Types of BDSM Collars
5. BDSM Shields
The shield comes in a classic shield shape with a cross or an upwards pointing arrow. The BDSM shield signifies a male or female owner, master, or dominant of a slave or submissive.
6. Owned Circles
These BDSM symbols match the shields above with their plus-sign cross or upwards arrow, but enclosed in a circle. They are worn by male or female slaves. The circle represents a collar and means the owned submissive is in a closed relationship.
Read: How to Find a BDSM Slave or Master
7. Little Symbols
A closed circle with a small heart inside, or an open square with a heart, represent littles. The circle symbolizes the collar and means THAT little is spoken for. The open box means an open cage, and the little is open to finding a dominant. The heart represents the little soul inside the person.
Read: Littles and Little Space: An Introduction
8. Fetish Wear
Fetish fashion and kinky clothing can give clues to what the wearer is into sexually, but may simply be a fashion statement.
There are leather harnesses, leather chaps, latex catsuits, chains, PVC hats, and more.
Read: Dominatrix Outfit and Femdom Clothing Ideas
9. Kinky Tattoos
There are temporary and real tattoos of every imaginable BDSM symbol. Some are subtle motifs that speak only to other BDSM lovers, such as the triskelion. But there are many that announce outright one’s sexual preferences and say things like “cumslut,” “cuckold,” “yes Daddy,” “property of Madame X,” and so on.
There are also many beautiful and creative tattoos, including vintage-style Japanese hardcore tattoos and criss-cross lacing.
Read: Extreme BDSM: 24 Examples of Hardcore BDSM
10. BDSM Handkerchief Code
The hanky code or bandana code originated in the 70s in gay culture when gay people had to be discreet about their desires, and it was risky just to meet others like yourself. Wearing a handkerchief in one pocket, in different colors, spoke a language about preferences and sexual needs.
The hanky code spread to BDSM culture because, of course, gay people were not the only ones with a BDSM practice.
A black hanky symbolized sadomasochism, dark blue for anal, red for fisting, and yellow for piss play. The list became so long and intricate with various interpretations that while still used, the handkerchief code requires flexibility and should be a conversation starter rather than a declaration.
Not everyone who wears a bandana of any color is into BDSM. So don’t make assumptions about hankies, especially when not in a BDSM context or environment!
Read: How to Tell if Someone Is Kinky before You Have Sex
11. BDSM Hand Signals
BDSM hand signals can be used as a kind of silent language.
Just as American sign language has various hand symbols and movements linked to specific words and expressions, and similar to hand gestures used in obedience training with dogs, there are BDSM hand signals a dominant can use to communicate with their slave and command them in total silence.
These signals are handy because they work from across a room or out of earshot, and they work when a dom wants silence or a sub is not allowed to speak for whatever reason.
Read: 23 Submissive Poses and BDSM Slave Positions
Some doms and subs have their own sign language, but much of it is from a universal BDSM hand-sign system.
What BDSM symbols, signs, or signals do you use?
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