Facts & Info

Brat BDSM and the Brat Kink Explained

Tough Girl

What Is a Brat in BDSM?

The BDSM brat is the submissive with a mind of their own. The brat gets into trouble, always knowing where to find it, and loves riling up everyone around them, especially their dominant.

Maybe this is you—you love to get on your knees and serve your Dom, but your curiosity and drive for attention know no bounds.

Rather than the simplistic view that this submissive is disobedient or “bad,” the BDSM brat is feisty, challenging, and full of attitude. Dominants who prefer a complicated relationship, where they’re never sure what is around the corner to seamless service and obedience, may enjoy the challenge and personality of the BDSM brat.

The brat loves to push buttons of authority. The brat is also always joking around and doesn’t take anything too seriously. They are mischievous and cheeky. They act out in order to get a rise out of their dominant or otherwise provoke some kind of reaction.

Some see the BDSM brat as a characteristic that sometimes shows itself in any personality, but more often than not, the BDSM brat is the character. The brat is a style or personality of submissive. The BDSM often dresses the part, with ponytails, gum, band t-shirts, a skateboard, and rebellious hair colors. If they are groomed to dress in a particular way by their dominant, they may rebel from those instructions.

Some dominant styles would find a brat submissive extremely infuriating. But a dom who is willing to put in extra time and attention and who enjoys a little fun and unorthodoxy may enjoy the brat BDSM relationship.

Read: How to Find a BDSM Partner

What Is a Brat Tamer?

The brat tamer is the BDSM brat’s counterpart, or dominant.

The brat tamer has their hands full with obedience training and letting the BDSM brat know who is in charge. They have to design instructions and commands as well as punishments that keep the brat in line, because the BDSM brat is willful and naughty and more difficult to tame than your average submissive.

Read: BDSM Training Guide for Beginners

The brat tamer usually has a powerful attraction sexually to the brat figure, not just to power, control and ownership. If they are turned on by naughty disobedience and by a spunky personality, all the better.

The Brat Kink Explained

The brat fetish causes quite a bit of confusion in BDSM circles because it challenges the customs and stereotypes of both dominant and submissive.

It doesn’t have to be confusing, however. For one thing, it’s not for everyone—if a dom is looking for pure, simple obedience and subservience without spunk, there’s plenty to go around in the classic model. And if a sub is looking for straight-up domination without pranks and playfulness, there are lots of opportunities to express your devotion.

But for another thing, the brat thing is more true to real-life psychology and is not so much roleplay as real-time play. For many of us, it is natural to test the boundaries of our affections, to demand more attention than we are getting, to make jokes about those in authority, and so on.

On the other hand, it is also natural for those in power to respect protest, questions, and those who demand we earn their trust rather than just doling it out. We want our subs to act autonomously, not like automatons.

Read: 4 Ways to Explore Your Inner Submissive

Motivating Factors in Brat BDSM

There are several motivating factors in brat BDSM play. Autonomy is indeed one of them. So is trust, so is attention, so is punishment, and so is conflict.

Autonomy is a brat motivator when the BDSM brat tests authority or flouts the rules. While you may long for the boundaries and demands of your authority and dominant, you are your own person and insist on being recognized as such.

Trust is an important motivator in brat behavioral deviations. Disobedience over pure compliance can be a BDSM brat’s way of testing whether your responsibility and love are conditional. The BDSM brat wants to know that you’re there for the full picture, not just when your sub is the way you want them to be.

Attention is the most common motivator for unruly behavior or flouting instructions. If you aren’t giving your brat enough attention, sexually, emotionally, companionably, and in every aspect of your relationship, they will demand that attention through bratty behavior. If you want a more seamless service from your submissive, you have to make sure you are meeting the needs of your BDSM brat so that they won’t constantly demand that attention by acting out.

Punishment and conflict are both powerful motivators as well, for the BDSM brat. Just as the brat may crave autonomy and attention, they also crave drama, the psychological thrill, and sexual thrill of conflict and punishment.

Read: 13 Ways to Dominate Your Submissive

Struggle in both emotional and physical manifestations can give a tremendous kick or high. This is true in the BDSM brat sense and the ordinary life situations when examining motives for rebellion. Smart, feisty personalities are easily bored and struggle and conflict alleviate that boredom and provide stimulation and attention.

Is your submissive a brat? Please share your brat BDSM experience.

Tell us what you think!

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