If you enjoy regressive age play, role play, nurturing power exchange dynamics, or littlespace, you are already aware of Care Giver Little kink or CGL relationships.
More people are exploring the CGL kink and CGL relationships, and as kink and non-traditional relationships become more common and accepted, more people are expressing themselves in the ways that work for them.
Read: 11 Age Play Fetishes and Kinks
What Is CGL?
CGL stands for Care Giver/Little. CGL is a kink or relationship style or a way to play. The CGL kink involves regressive age play by adults to take on the personality and qualities of a young child.
The CGL kink is not the Adult Baby Diaper Lover kink. ABDL also involves regressive age play, but adult babies regress to infancy. There is often an element of humiliation and helplessness in ABDL.
The CGL kink involves age regression to childhood. Littles find stress relief, comfort, nostalgia, fun, and nurturing in age regression play to childhood. It can include sexual elements or motivations, but is often a form of intimacy and affection that is not sexual. The motivation can be psychological, therapeutic, intimate, and fun.
Read: Littles and Little Space: An Introduction
In regressive age play in a CGL context, the Little regresses to childhood and the caregiver takes the role of daddy, mommy, babysitter, nurse, grandma, auntie, nanny, etc.
Littles may enjoy dressing in colorful pajamas, coloring and playing with toys, watching cartoons, eating nostalgic foods like cereals and cut up fruits, playing games, snuggling, enjoying storybooks, taking a bath with floating toys, sleeping with plush toys, going to fairs, playing childhood sports, using lip gloss designed for children, wearing hair ribbons and Hello Kitty tops, sitting in beanbag chairs.
Read: Age Regression & Little Space: How to Get There
Is CGL BDSM?
CGL relationships have a power exchange dynamic. The caregiver is in a nurturing, dominant role and the Little is dependent and needs supervision, guidance, nurture and discipline.
Many view the CGL kink through the BDSM lens of this power exchange and see the Little as submissive and the caregiver as dominant.
CGL often gets associated with or equated to ABDL kink, which is also a power exchange relationship with a nurturing dominant role. However, ABDL is more closely related to classic submission and dominance roles because it involves an element of humiliation in its motivation for many adult babies.
The CGL kink is different, however. The purpose of regression to Little Space is seldom about humiliation and helplessness. In Little role play, a little may act out or require punishment or discipline. But many CGL folks don’t view their play as BDSM at all. This depends entirely on the individuals in the CGL relationship.
Read: Funishment Ideas for BDSM Subs, Brats, and Littles
Examples of CGL Relationships
DDLG
Daddy Dom Little Girl. The caregiver role is a Daddy figure and the Little is the Little Girl.
Read: DDLG Rules: Daddy’s List of Rules for Littles
MDLB
Mommy Domme Little Boy. Here, the caregiver is Mommy and the Little is a Little Boy.
DDLB
When both Caregiver and Little are male, it may be Daddy Dom and Little Boy.
MDLG
When both Caregiver and Little are female, it may be Mommy Domme Little Girl.
There are as many variations of CGL relationships in the CGL kink as there are gender expressions and orientations. Transgender and nonbinary people can be Caregivers and Littles.
Not all caregivers play Mommy or Daddy but may use other nurturing roles that may or may not be gendered, including nanny, uncle, babysitter or anything else that works for CGL people.
What Is the Caregiver’s Role in CGL Relationships?
The caregiver role in CGL kink is not a classic sexually dominant role in the BDSM sense.
The caregiver role is driven by the desire to offer guidance, nurture and care. As the name suggests, the caregiver role is driven by the desire to take care of or care for the Little.
Qualities of this personality include affectionate, tenderness, caring, compassionate, patient, understanding, and gentleness.
Read: BDSM Roles: 33 Dominant and Submissive Roles
The caregiver needs to be needed and is rewarded by caring for a Little who needs them. Mommy Dommes are typically very nurturing. Father Doms are very protective.
In the CGL kink, caregivers are not motivated by sadism, and do not desire to hurt, punish, or harm the little. They may be required to provide loving discipline and guidance.
Read: Funishment Ideas for BDSM Subs, Brats, and Littles
What to Know About CGL
CGL Relationships May or May Not Involve Sex
There is a lot of discussion over whether to call this unique form of play and relationship a CGL kink at all. For some people, there is a sexual element and the power exchange dynamic can be interpreted as a kind of BDSM. The nurturing and love aspects of the CGL relationship are considered as a form of sexuality or romance, even if it is manifest as sexual or nonsexual touching and affection.
But others view the CGL relationship as a nonsexual kink or not as a kink at all. Many CGL relationships do not involve sex and are not sexual in tension, expression, or fulfillment. They are entirely about the psychological benefits of age regression play, or of role play that involves care, nostalgia, and affection. It is a nontraditional relationship whether in a vanilla or BDSM lens.
Read: Mild Kinks for You and Your Vanilla Partner
CGL Has Nothing to do with Pedophilia
The CGL kink is not pedophilia. It is role play. Age regression play has tremendous therapeutic benefits, just as exercise or gardening or dance or painting. It is deeply nostalgic and it is fun.
Some people identify as children or feel their inner child is their truest self. The Little in the CGL kink wants to be, or identifies as, a child, whether in the context of play or in general. The Caregiver enjoys nurturing the Little and providing them with the affection and guidance they need. No one in the CGL relationship is sexually attracted to actual children.
Read: What Are My Kinks? 13 Ways to Find Your Kink
CGL Isn’t the Same as Incest Kink
CGL relationships are not incest kinks either. Incest is a popular and common fantasy and kink. Every other porn video is a steamy stepmother or sister-caught-me-jerking-off video. None of these feature Littles coloring or eating cinnamon toast. Sexual fantasies about actual family members are so common that half of Freudian psychology is about them!
CGL kink play is about regressive age play and that includes play acting with Mommy or Daddy roles. It is not about being sexually attracted to or fantasizing about one’s actual mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, or stepfather. Incest kink is an entirely different thing.
Read: Exploring Incest Kink & Consanguinamory
DDLG Doesn’t Mean She Has “Daddy Issues”
DDLG and MDLB are sometimes perceived, even from the tolerant and open-minded kink community, as being about daddy issues. Sure, some Littles have issues with their parents. Who doesn’t?
The CGL relationship is about a fantasy for or desire for aspects of nurturing relationships or the freedom of age regression, not about fixing issues with our real parents.
Are you a Caregiver or a Little in a CGL relationship? Please share!
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