Do you have a voyeur kink? Does watching turn you on?
We often think of the eyes being “windows to the soul” or similar sentiments, and often notice a person’s eyes first, whether we are looking for a lover or simply assessing a new business partner or friend.
We don’t often think about the eyes as a sex organ or sexualized body part. Yet for most of us, what we see has an enormous impact on our sexuality.
Voyeurism Fetish and Sex
Our earliest sexual awakenings happen when we catch an unexpected glimpse and see something exciting.
We often hear the phrase “men are visual creatures” (as if women aren’t!) What does that mean? It has something to do with how important the visual aspect of sex is. Most of us are excited when we see something we consider sexy. Pornography is popular anywhere it is accessible. And before the camera, artists painted or sculpted sexual scenes.
If the visual aspect of sex wasn’t important to us, we wouldn’t spend so much time and money on beauty and fitness. We would always do it in the dark. We wouldn’t care about aesthetics in fashion or home décor or automobile choices.
Even when it’s not explicitly sexual, our sense of sight is very sensual. We love to have things that look “nice” and respond to beauty in art, nature, and symmetry.
Read: How the 5 Senses Affect Our Kinks and Fetishes
Some people REALLY love looking, and consider it the most important aspect of sex, even preferring it to participation. We might call this voyeur kink, or bona fide voyeurism fetish. Most of us have an inner voyeur.
In some ways, the art of looking is the original fetish, in both definitions of the word. Voyeurism is a replacement or substitute for the sex act: when we look at something phallic or something red, even some animals automatically substitute these objects in their mind for genitalia! And in a spiritual definition of fetish, when an object is magical, just looking at it can put one under a spell. Just gazing at someone’s beauty can hypnotize us.
6 Ways to Explore a Voyeur Kink
Paying special attention to your visual sense can make sex incredibly exciting and add variety and novelty, whether you play solo, with one partner all the time, or with many lovers.
Here are six ideas for ways to indulge a voyeur fetish or simply explore the art of looking.
1. Pornography
It’s abundant, magically varied, often free, and totally safe sex. Take advantage of the porn that exists because it wasn’t always this way and might not be again. Religious and governmental censorship have long made porn rare and dangerous, and there were long battles over simple nudity in magazines. It’s easy to take a centerfold for granted, but it wasn’t that long ago that Marilyn Monroe scandalized the whole world by appearing naked in the first Playboy.
Porn is a great way to explore a voyeurism fetish, and discover what turns you on, and what doesn’t. It’s a safe and easy way to come to terms with some of your predilections and tastes, by playing them out when you’re playing solo. Watching porn as a couple is also a great way to experiment and expand your sex life with a partner, allowing you both to get very aroused, or simply to show each other the kinds of kinks you enjoy.
Read: 5 Benefits of Watching Kinky Porn
2. Exotic Dancers
There’s something incredibly exciting about going to a strip club and watching women dance and take off all their clothes. Even though there’s a lot more to see in porn or by actually having sex, the erotic dance is still popular and as old as the hills. Entire cultural versions of the art form like belly dancing and flamenco are about the beauty of the body and celebrate love.
You can watch dancers all by yourself, but it’s even better for lovers! Whether both of you are fairly vanilla or really into voyeur fetish and kinky stuff, this is a fun and empowering way to generate novelty and experiment with voyeurism.
Read: How to Use Strip Clubs as Foreplay
3. Threesomes and Group Sex
A threesome doesn’t always have to be hands on. It’s quite common for one person to sit on the sidelines and enjoy a live sex show, with people they know.
To find your own threesome as a way to indulge a voyeur kink, see our recommendations for the Best Threesome Hookup Sites.
4. Cuckold and Hotwife Relationships
Not much will drive up your testosterone more than a cuckold or hotwife fantasy. Our close relatives in the animal kingdom get just as horned up as we do by watching the object of their attraction take it from another male.
Read: Tips for Watching Your Wife Have Sex
Cuckolding is when a woman cheats on her man or takes other lovers because he can’t satisfy her. She may insist that her submissive partner watch as a way to humiliate him.
Hotwifing is related, but usually the male “lets” his lady have her way with men because he is so confident she will return, and he can enjoy the thought, or the view.
These are hot kinks right now, as the taboos of polyamory, submission, and infidelity are increasingly being shattered by a freer society.
Read: How to Find Cuckold Couples & Bulls Online
5. Peeping
Peeping or spying on people unawares for your jollies is an ancient thrill and a bit pervy because you obviously need consent. Don’t just stalk your true love when you’ve been jilted, or show up at the neighbor’s window.
The good news is, if voyeurism fetish is your thing, there are lots of women and couples who get a thrill from being watched. Lots of people are exhibitionists and love to turn people on.
Read: Tips for Voyeurism with Consent
6. Dress-Up and Roleplay
Cosplay, fetish wear, or just dressing up for each other the way you did for your first dates—shaving, new clothes, fancy makeup, a new hairdo—is all about looking, isn’t it?
Switch things up with a surprise look your partner hasn’t seen before, instead of just rolling over to do it when you’re both in boxers.
Read: Sexy Roleplay Costumes and Accessory Ideas
How do you satisfy your voyeurism fetish?
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