How to Embrace Your Submissive Side

You can make your fantasy a reality by embracing your submissive side.

How to Embrace Your Submissive Side

Tell your partner what you want.

Whether you are both kinky or haven’t yet crossed over to the dark side, sharing your submissive fantasies will open the doors of communication. She may be hoping you want her to take the reins, or maybe she never thought of it, but the idea is a major turn on.

Be playful to get comfortable.

You might want her to break out the paddle and ram your virgin ass until your insides split. But experimenting and exploring playfully gives you both a better idea of what works in real life, and you learn as you go about boundaries and ecstasy alike.

If you’re experienced, and know submission is part of your sexuality, find the right partner.

BDSM can be fun for everyone and open up our minds to the joys of relinquishing and taking control. But if it’s an essential backbone to your sexuality, something non-negotiable, than take charge unapologetically in your search for a sex playmate or partner.

To find a dominant partner to submit to, try sites specifically for doms and subs looking to meet in person. See our recommendations for the best BDSM dating sites.

In your submissive dating profile and your conversations with potential lovers, tell them up front that you need occasional, frequent, or full-time domination. Don’t waste a woman’s time if she doesn’t swing that way and isn’t interested in exploring domination.

BDSM kink is everywhere.

Understand that BDSM is very common—in fetish communities and on kink sites, but also next door and in the office. It’s not a rare kink like some fetishes or fantasies.

Take workshops or join a few meetups with a partner or solo.

Broaden your horizons and learn safety and etiquette from like-minded people. You can take pegging or spanking workshops, or attend BDSM munches with the kinky people in your area. Meeting people who share your fetishes is the best way to embrace your submissive side.

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