How to Be a Hotwife in Your Marriage

So, you want to be a hotwife!

Hotwifing is a non-monogamous sexual arrangement wherein a married or attached woman pursues no-strings-attached sexual arrangements outside of her husband, with his blessing or endorsement.

A hotwife is a very attractive female who seeks sexual pleasure with other men. Her husband finds this incredibly, well, hot. He gets off on the thrill of men looking at her and touching her and making love to her.

The male in a hotwife relationship does not seek other sexual partners outside of the marriage. Sometimes he will be invited—or ordered—to participate with his wife and her bulls.

Read: What is a Hotwife? Living the Hotwife Lifestyle

If you are a woman turned on by the idea of a female-led relationship where you are dominant, or enjoy the idea of making love to hot guys and turning on your husband with the sordid tales later, you might want to become a hotwife.

How to Become a Hotwife in 8 Steps

Being a hotwife is a sexy and fun way to explore different sexualities, kinks, and lifestyles. Here’s how to start your journey of becoming a hotwife.

1. Know Why You Want to Be a Hotwife

What are your reasons for wanting to become a hotwife? Is sleeping with other men something you’ve been pressured to do because it turns your man on, or is it something you’ve wanted to explore during different relationships?

Does the domination of men turn you on? Or do you get off on your partner’s wounded face when you talk about how other guys have bigger cocks and you miss them?

Read: Cuckold Humiliation Ideas: How to Humiliate a Cuck

There are many different psychological aspects to the erotic arrangement, and knowing which ones drive you will help you discuss them openly with your partner and see if yours are a good fit for his.

2. Share Your Hotwife Fantasies with Your Husband

Chances are, your husband has already shared hotwife fantasies with you. I have not been with many men who did not express arousal at the idea of me with other lovers.

Lots of guys will bring up the fact that they noticed men at a party paying attention to you, or they’ll ask you to wear a certain dress or shoes “to drive other guys crazy” at a nightclub or event.

If that’s the case, it should be easy to express your fantasies of becoming a hotwife with him. But even if he has never mentioned anything like this, you’ll need to bring up the fact that you fantasize about being a hotwife in order to gauge whether this could become a reality or not.

In addition to simply sharing your fantasies, you’ll need to tell him at some point that you’d like to actually become a hotwife in real life. The best way to do that is to start by sharing those hotwife dreams and desires.

Read: Cuckold Fetish: All About Cuckold Kinks

3. Does He Prefer to Play the Cuckold or Stag?

Becoming a hotwife means the husband becomes either a stag or a cuckold, depending on the power exchange dynamic and personal kinks of the couple involved

The Hotwife Cuckold

To be a hotwife can mean humiliating and shaming the husband, in a cuckolding relationship. This means the woman is dominant and the husband is submissive and turned on by erotic humiliation.

Read: Cuckold Humiliation: How to Humiliate a Cuck

The Hotwife Stag

If the husband is a stag, the psychology is not about humiliation or an inability to satisfy the hotwife, but about him being the secure, alpha male who loves having a wife so hot and so horny that she needs lots of lovers.

Read: All About Stag and Vixen Relationships

You may already know what personality defines your husband better, but you’ll still want to talk about it. After all, your secure, steady, gorgeous husband may secretly harbor hopes of being dominated and humiliated by you being a hotwife.

Erotic humiliation and cuckolding are very common male fantasies. Maybe your husband is on the submissive side in bed, but his true nature is very grounded and he isn’t interested in being cuckolded. He wants to liberate and empower you to great sex, and doesn’t find it the least bit degrading.

Explore your fantasies together about being a hotwife and whether he prefers to be the cuckold or the stag.

4. Experiment with Hotwife Roleplay

Role play in creative ways. Being a hotwife means dressing to the nines, and undressing, too, with luxurious sweet nothings and beautiful lingerie. Enjoy it!

Use your imagination to play at being a hotwife. You can lock the bedroom door and pretend you’re with another man, vocally masturbating while he jerks off on the other side.

Read: Sexual Roleplay: A Guide for Roleplay Beginners

You can text from a girl’s night out with messages about what your pretend bull is doing to you. You can dress up and come home with your makeup all over and stockings torn, and tell him all about what happened.

Read: 5 Cuckold Roleplay Ideas to Try

5. Start Slow with Public Flirting

Dating while being a hotwife is so damn hot. Everything is magnified. Dress to kill and practice flirting and commanding attention. Your cuckold husband can encourage you and let you know how much you’re turning him on.

There are lots of couples who don’t take hotwifing all the way but fully enjoy the roleplay, storytelling, and public flirting. Attracting other men’s attention ramps up arousal for you and your husband, and can ignite outrageously hot sex.

6. Join a Hotwife Dating Site

Once you are both ready to take the leap from fantasy to real life, you are ready to become a hotwife.

You’ll want to join a hotwifing dating site. You can look for no-strings-attached bulls on any polyamory sites or casual dating sites, but make sure to be upfront about your marital status.

Read: Hotwife Dating Sites for Couples & Bulls

7. Agree on Hotwifing Boundaries

Once you’re ready to start dating, make sure you’ve had an open discussion on hotwifing boundaries. Agree on what kind of sex is allowed, who can be your lovers, safe-sex practices, whether he gets to watch, and much more.

The boundaries can shift as you explore becoming a hotwife, but it’s good to start with some firm ideas in mind.

8. Arrange to Meet Your First Bull

Your first date with a bull will be sexy and exciting for both of you! Enjoy!

Read: How to Choose a Bull for Hotwifing

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