Is the orgasm for you the peak, the pinnacle, the climax of sex?
Is the Big-O the be all and end all? Is the idea of orgasm control so exciting to you that you think of it as a kink or fetish?
The Oxford online defines orgasm as “a climax of sexual excitement, characterized by feelings of pleasure centered in the genitals and (in men) experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation.”
Well, okay. That’s sort of it. The orgasm is notoriously difficult to describe or explain. But we know when we have one, and we know if we don’t. We know if we’ve never had one.
Lots of sex, and lots of kink and fetish play, is not orgasm focused. The orgasm, after all, is just a few seconds and there are many meandering paths that are pleasurable. Not all roads lead to orgasm.
On the other hand, some roads do. We love having orgasms or aiming to get there. Lots of sex IS orgasm focused, and many kinks such as orgasm control are orgasm specific!
10 Orgasm Kinks and Fetishes
Whether you are orgasm obsessed and want to explore orgasm kinks you’ve missed, looking for alternate ways to play with the inevitable, or just curious what other people are doing, here are some orgasm kinks you should know.
1. Orgasm Control
Is orgasm control a kink or a technique? It’s a popular play between dominant and submissive partners and a common practice in BDSM. Giving control of your orgasm over to your dom or domme is the ultimate act of submission and trust. It can enhance any BDSM or fetishes where power exchanges are important.
Basically, it means the dominant partner decides when, how, where, and how often their partner has an orgasm.
Read: Forced Orgasm Ideas for BDSM Play
Orgasm control is an orgasm kink that can be situational—that is, the orgasm control can take place during the situation, or the time you and your lover are being sexual together—or it can be for a period of time that encompasses everyday life. For example, a weekend, whether or not you are together.
Orgasm control can also be a long-term commitment, with the submissive giving blanket control over when and if they orgasm to their dominant. This includes masturbation!
Post Orgasm Torture Tips and Ideas
2. Orgasm Denial
Orgasm denial is a form of orgasm control. It is sometimes its own thing. This orgasm kink is all about not having an orgasm.
Orgasm denial is a delicious, painful, throbbing, dare I say orgasmic orgasm kink that is also most often about BDSM power exchange. But it’s not always about discipline or power or submission.
Denying orgasm is also a popular solo thing, and lots of couples play with it who are not into power games. Not having an orgasm prolongs the ache of desire and intensifies arousal, fantasies, and sex.
Read: Orgasm Denial Games and Ways to Play
3. Orgasm Edging
Orgasm edging is another orgasm kink or practice that comes under the umbrella of orgasm control, but is its own thing. Most lovers occasionally practice edging even if they don’t consciously think of it that way.
Instinctively, even in masturbation, lots of us build towards orgasm for ourselves or for a partner, then delay our orgasm, and do it again. It’s more intense every time, making the orgasm, when you finally get there, an exquisite relief.
Read: Edging Tips for Kinky Couples
Orgasm edging can be playful and teasing—we might think of it as building up to a more explosive event. But consciously practiced as a sexual arousal technique, it can go on and on, up and down. Basically you build arousal, then take the stimulation away, over and over.
Taking yourself or your lover to the edge of the orgasm and then back is why it is called “edging.” Orgasm edging can be brief, or it can be long and drawn out as part of a torture scene, worship scene, or just a long fuckfest!
Some men choose to hold out because ejaculation makes them tired, so to preserve their energy for longer sex they simply take it to the edge and not over until they’re ready to call it a day.
4. Ruined Orgasms
The ruined orgasm kink is a BDSM practice, a form of sexual punishment, and a form of power exchange. It’s also a type of orgasm control.
Ruined orgasms are like edging, but instead of holding off the orgasm, stimulation is retracted just as the orgasm starts rather than before. This makes the climax, well, anticlimactic, and the longed for relief doesn’t happen.
Read: How to Ruin an Orgasm in the Name of Kink
5. Post-Orgasm Torture
Post-orgasm torture is a sadomasochistic practice where stimulation continues or revs up during and after the orgasm, when the body is too sensitive or exhausted to take any more. It can include giving and receiving actual pain as well.
Read: Post Orgasm Torture Tips and Ideas
6. Simultaneous Orgasms
The simultaneous orgasm is when both or all lovers orgasm at the same time. It usually isn’t thought of as a fetish, more of as an extra special climax.
It can be very exciting and emotionally satisfying to come together, especially if a couple doesn’t usually get there at the same time. But some people really get off on this idea and plan and play towards it. It generally isn’t about BDSM or power.
Read: Tips for Mutual Masturbation
7. Cum Eating
For those who have a thing for eating, lapping, drinking and otherwise consuming cum, you definitely need the orgasm first.
Read: How to Eat Your Own Cum
8. Bukkake
Bukkake is when a group of guys ejaculate on a woman. It happens more in porn and in masturbation fantasies. And who knows when you’ll be with a bunch of dudes and happen on a lonely woman who wants a cum bath. It’s… possible.
9. Cream Pie
There’s a biological reason why it’s so arousing to think about ejaculating inside a woman, but looking at it—the white foamy cum inside or around her pussy—is what’s known in porn as “cream pie.”
For some of you, cream pie kink is you can think about, and a very popular subject in porn. However, it’s rare to see for real, due to safe sex and contraception.
10. Female Ejaculation
The idea of her squirting is exciting as a fantasy for many of us, but for some this is a legit kink.
A woman who can ejaculate or squirt after G-spot stimulation is highly sought after by those who have a fetish for it, and a hot surprise for those of us who aren’t expecting it when we make love.
Do you incorporate orgasm fetishes into your kinky play? Dare to share.
Tell us what you think